


Heaven's Day

by Shybutterfly93



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, BDSM, Demons, Dubious Consent, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gore, M/M, Religious Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:43:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shybutterfly93/pseuds/Shybutterfly93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And on this day, the day he was born, a baby angel more holy than all, had fallen to hell, and even deeper into love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once upon a time a baby angel fell in love with the devil and never again was hell so warm

When Jaejoong opened his eyes, it was not to the fluffy white world he had come to call home. It was also not to the cold, white, wet land he knew once upon a time as well. There was no white at all when the child who earned his wings not more than six earth years ago, opened his wide innocent eyes. There was only darkness. A darkness so black and foreboding that the little cherub had half a mind to believed that he hadn’t opened his eyes at all.

“He looks positively terrified.” A voice hissed.

“Truly.” Another remarked. “Let’s see how much pain he can endure before he cries out for his Lord.”

Though Jaejoong could not see the beings that spoke around him, he had a sick feeling that they could see him. He instinctively backed away at their terrifying words. Cold metal bars hit his winged back but the tiny thing thought little of it. A cage meant that whatever was out there could not get to him.

But it also meant that something out there had put him there in the first place.

“Enough.” A third voice barked, silencing the others. Jaejoong didn’t know whether to be thankful to it or not. “Go find something else to torment. This one has a purpose.” Jaejoong felt his confines rattle slightly. “Our Lord has been waiting long enough don’t you think.”

The babe doubted that he and the faceless beings had the same Lord.

There was movement and the little angel fought to steady himself in his rickety prison. He heard wheels turning and feet stomping but nothing else. He was still engulfed in pure darkness and he was terrified of the dark. A small sob escaped his tired throat as fear took over his thoughts.

 _What’s happening_ , he thought. _Where am I?_ How did he end up in a cage that was two sizes too small? Even for his tiny figure. He tried to recount the moments before his capture (for what else could this be) but nothing came to mind. He whimpered and hugged his knees to his chest.

The metal was cold, the air was cold, he was cold. Jaejoong wasn’t uses to being anything but warm. At least not anymore.

Where was Junsu? Why hadn’t his guardian come to rescue him yet? Was he alright? Had he been captured too? He was terrified of course but Jaejoong couldn’t help but be more concerned with the whereabouts and wellbeing of the elder angel. An angle that had been nothing short of his parent and friend since their meeting six years ago.

 _What was happening? Why is this happening?_ The questions wouldn’t stop swimming until they formed a whirlpool in his head, bringing tears to the child’s eyes and sobs past his throat. He was too frightened to do much else.

“Shut up!” The voice from earlier bellowed, shaking the cage and making Jaejoong fall to his side.

This only made the babe cry more.

This was all his fault. Completely his fault. Angles like Jaejoong weren’t even supposed to leave Heaven. They couldn’t go to earth; they had no powers to speak of couldn’t take care of themselves. Jaejoong knew all this and yet he still implored his friend and guardian to take him along on anyways. He just wanted to experience Christmas one last time.

It took some begging but in the end he was allowed. As long as he promised to stay by Junsu’s side and not wonder off anywhere for anything. And he didn’t. Jaejoong was a good boy. He listened well and always did as he was told. Even before his death, he was painfully obedient to those over him.

Then the noise happened. Barely ten minutes into the trip and a terrible, awful, sickening noise that assaulted his senses and paralyzed his form ring from within the young angel. It was like static and horns and laughter and buzzing all at once. It mirrored the one that used to torture him on Earth when that was his home but never was it so loud and stomach churning. Back then, it would keep him up at night and whisper as he tried to live his life. It was evil, if evil had a sound, and to this day he could still feel it. And that was worse than hearing it.

You see, unlike most angels, Jaejoong was human at one time. He had a mother and a father, and sisters and friends too. He enjoyed drawing, hated math, loved to sing, and went to church every Sunday with his doting family. That was why he had no abilities, and why he could never leave Heaven. He wasn’t a real angel. He just had the wings of one. And apparently, that wasn’t normal.

_“Look Junsu, he’s got wings, he’s got wings!”_

Ryeowook, that was the name of the little angel that half greeted him when he awoken after closing his mortal eyes for the last time. He was a cute little thing. Only half a head shorter than he with the face of a child but was thrice as old. He was kind too, like how angels ought to be. They became fast friends during his adjustment period.

Jaejoong grew up in a good and God fearing Christian household but he had very little understanding of the afterlife or the “good” word as one might say. He was not a very good student, especially in Sunday school. The noise always got in the way. It made it impossible for him to focus and studying a chore. He was on medication for it but it didn’t help much. If anything it just made him sleepy. Jaejoong was bright but because of the noise his grades were subpar and the other adults at church were constantly reprimanding him for not listening to the sermon.

And church just so happened to be where the noise was the worst.

Still, Jaejoong was a good child. He never gave his parents any trouble, always did as he was told, helped out around the house, and was a good little brother to his eight older sisters. Most people spoke well of him in his humble little town. He was different but well liked with a large number of friends and no real problems worth voicing. He was happy. Honestly. How many people could say that?

 _“Only really good and special humans earn wings after their death.”_ Ryeowook had explained to him. _“You must have been really amazing to have ones so pretty.”_

Jaejoong didn’t think that was true. The part about him being amazing at least. His life was simple, he was simple, but he didn’t argue. That would be rude and what did he know. He still had a hard time just reciting the ten commands.

The wings were nice but they took some getting use too. He couldn’t use them to fly but he still had to learn to groom them and that took forever to do. Jaejoong did like them very much though. They were pretty, everyone said so, and knowing that not all humans had them, made him feel special for once.

This was yet another reason to miss his new home. Everyone was so wonderful in Heaven. Plus there were plenty of sweets to eat, the sun always shined, and the nights were never cold. It was the perfect place. Everything the stories had said and more.

Oh why did he want to leave, even for a moment! If he never left, this never would have happened. He was so stupid. Stupid!

_BANG! BANG!_

“Wakey wakey angel baby.” The voice hissed again, rattling the cage.

Jaejoong lifted his face off his knobby knees and took a look at his surroundings. The air was thick and stale and heavy. It hurt his eyes and burned his lungs. Heaven had cleaner air. Everything was clean in Heaven.

It was cold too, so so cold. Heaven was never cold and never this dark. Even at night, the moon would cast such a lovely glow that made everything bright and pretty. No such thing would happen in this awful place. Jaejoong wasn’t even sure if it were night or day because the only thing in the dimly lit sky was a blood red orb that didn’t look at all like the moon and most definitely was not the sun. He had never been in place such as this before. He couldn’t even imagine it.

As his eye adjusted to the lack of light, he saw that there were no birds in the sky nor leaves on the trees or grass on the ground. Everything looked dead and sad; as if it had been that way since the start of time. Creation and life never made it here and once more, Jaejoong questioned if his eyes were open at all.

His captor stood tall right before him but Jaejoong still could not make out his face. He was able to note the silhouette of horns sticking out of his black hair and the tail peeking out from under his long cloak. Jaejoong had to cover his mouth to conceal his gasp. His eye’s widened further as realization hit him with a force stronger than the car that killed him.

_Hell._

Jaejoong never thought that he of all people would ever see such a place. He was good, he was practically a literal angel! Why was he here?! More questions arose but he dared not voice any of them.

He wasn’t sure he wanted answers anymore.

Deeper and deeper into the realm the demon took him; past hideous looking beings and gruesome scenery. At one point there was a girl, or at rather what he believed to be a girl (it was hard to tell with half her face melted away) crying alone in the dirt. In truth they had past several miserable looking souls but for Jaejoong, she stood out.

She was about his age, not more than a year or two older and she was dressed in a rather dingy school uniform but that probably had something to do with her death. When he “woke up”, even he was in his burnt church suit. It was normal. And that’s what was truly sickening to the boy. Apart from her injury, she liked like any other normal girl. Yet she was here. Among murders and demons, left alone in a puddle of sorrows and despair. What had she done? For surly she must have done something awful to be here and not beyond the clouds.

Something about that brought new tears to the boy’s eyes.

Jaejoong curled himself into a ball not wanting to see anymore. He couldn’t handle it. He was cold, hungry, suffocating from claustrophobia and the air, and now he was being forced to face the reality that this might be his new home. Angels never came to hell. Only dark magic could withstand the environment. Even an angle as powerful as Junsu wouldn’t be able to last long. In short, rescue wasn’t coming and even if these demons left him intact once they were done with him, he doubt they would be kind enough to help him find his way back to Heaven.

_BANG!_

“Shut up already!” The demon roared. “We’re here.”

Jaejoong hadn’t even noticed they had come to a stop.

He uncurled from his ball and looked around, his jaw falling slightly open in awe. Where ever here was, he questioned if it was still hell or not. They were inside now and if Jaejoong had to guess, he’d say it was the inside of a grand palace. From the indicate tapestries to the opulent stained glass windows, it was like something out of children’s fairy tale. Minus the fair prince or lovely maiden who would normally reside within said walls.

It was a world apart from the outside. The air was still thick but cleaner and his eyes no longer had to fight through shadow and darkness. Lit candle lined the stone walls illuminating the room where they stood while a great Throne at the far end of the room indicated where they were.

A throne room.

Jaejoong immediately felt a tinge of disgust. Monarchies had no place in Heaven. Everyone was equal. In fact a place so ornate and pompous would never even be built. Everyone lived in mini homes in one large open community that was always growing. It cozy and perfect.

Everything about Heaven was simply perfect.

Then all of a sudden the chatter around him stopped and before Jaejoong could even formulate another thought, another being, a much taller and so very beautiful being, entered the room. There no sound to signal his arrival, his footsteps and the aura around him was enough. He wore a simple black button up with black pants and black shoes that echoed with each step. His skin was tan but other than that, his hair was black, his almond eyes were black, and even the ink decorating his exposed chest and hands, was black. Jaejoong wondered if the rest of him was tattooed as well.

A chill ran up his spin but there was something oddly comforting about it. Like hearing a really pretty song for the first time or the building of excitement as something special neared. This was none of those things but the feeling was still there and once more, Jaejoong did not know why.

_OMPH!_

A blunt object, was rammed into Jaejoong’s side making him topple over in pain.

Pain.

Jaejoong hadn’t felt pain in a long time.

“Kneel child!” The demon that jabbed him roared. “How dare you stare so shamelessly at prince Yunho.”

Jaejoong stayed where he fell, hoping his fall would be seen as a bow. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep his teeth from chattering. He swallowed the sobs forming in his throat as he tried to keep himself from shaking too much.

“Yoohwan, you come bearing exceptional news I hope.” The being spoke from his iron throne. “I do not appreciate my time being wasted.”

The demon, who didn’t really looked like a demon aside from the horns sticking out of his dark locks, bowed deeply. “You have my word my Lord, this is of the utmost importance to you. We have found him my Lord. The pathetic thing was on earth, pitifully sheltering children from the cold. It was too easy to capture him. The spell you cast was still in effect.”

Jaejoong frowned. The demon made that sound like it was a bad thing. The part about helping the school children he meant. He knew he wasn’t powerful. He’d have to be an actual angel for that. Truth be told even as a human he was weak. He was born three months premature and his parents often said it was a miracle he made it at all. He grew up not caring that he couldn’t throw a ball very far or run very fast. His life was a gift from God. That was all that mattered.

Now, as a celestial being, his existence was downright pathetic. He couldn’t do miracles like Junsu and Ryeowook, and he couldn’t even preform simple task without falling all over himself or messing up tremulously. But that was just another thing that made Heaven so lovely. Even though he was rather useless and clumsy, everyone still made him feel valued and important.

More tears escaped his eyes as he thought of the home he would never see again. Things can’t end like this.

“Rise child.” A deep and commanding voice ordered.

Jaejoong, fearing more pain or worse, raised his head just a little to meet the dark eyes of one of the seven princes of hell. Asmodeus, the demon of lust and ultimate sin. He remembered that much from his teachings. Why that name never left him, was truly terrifying.

The man (for all intent and purposes) smiled at him. Jaejoong could have almost sworn there was kindness in that smile but demons didn’t do kind. They didn’t even do civil. All they were capable of was cruelty, destruction, and evil. He was just hallucinating.

“He is unharmed?” The price inquired.

The demon, Yoohwan, smirked at the trembling boy. “Physically yes.”

Yunho nodded. “Good, you may go now, all of you may go.” He said in reference to the many others that stood to watch the spectacle. “You will be rewarded, my friend. You have my word.”

Yoohwan bowed to his master once more before exiting the room.

Jaejoong found himself wishing his captor had not left.

He flinched when the beautiful creature before him broke the lock on his only means of defense with little more than a flick of his wrist. He huddled closer to back of the cage, which wasn’t much, and bit his lip as tears blinded his sight. This was it. This was how his eternity was going to end.

But what came next was not pain or torcher. There was no fire or other typical depictions. Instead all he saw, after he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his tunic, was an upturned inked hand, waiting patiently for him to take it.

“Come child.” Yunho said sweetly, Jaejoong sure of it this time. “I mean you no harm.”

Jaejoong didn’t more. He was too stunned and confused to do anything more than stare.

The being laughed. “Come now little one, you can not honestly tell me you would rather spend the rest of your moons in this awful thing than take my hand for only a moment.”

“How-how do I know you won’t-won’t h-hurt me?” Jaejoong stuttered.

“Because I just told you I would not silly little angel.”

“That doesn’t mean you won’t.” He argued. “Demons lie.”

The prince laughed again and smiled at him. “You are wise to distrust me little one, but don’t you think that if I wanted to hurt you, I would have done so already? This is my realm after all. _I_ am God here and it is only because you as so breathtakingly adorable that I am being kind and asking for your hand when we both know I could just as easily take it and anything else I want from you. Now,” his tone changing slightly. “Come to me right now Jaejoong. I am not familiar with asking for things twice.”

Truly terrified, the babe did as he was told, climbing out of the cage with the help of the prince of lust. “How-how do you know my name?” He asked before moving another inch.

The man mused and looked the child once over. “I know everything about you Jaejoong. All in preparation for your arrival my little angel.”

Jaejoong did not like the possessive noun used before the endearment. “I-I’m not really an angel you know.” The little thing stated, hoping the detail might be is salvation. If the man knew he wasn’t really as great as he thought, perhaps he would let him go. Hopefully, that would mean returning him home and not leaving him to his own devices here.

The Prince laughed and stepped closer to him. Goodness he was tall. “Yes, I am well aware of that fact. And yet here you are with wings brighter than the rest of them. That makes you very special.”

“Special enough to go home?”

The man laughed and kissed his cheek. Jaejoong felt that spot tingle. “Oh my sweet little angel, you already are home.”

~

 

 

 

Against his will, that he dared not voice, Jaejoong was lead to a large room, deep within the castle walls, with Yunho’s large hand at his lower back, guiding him forward. It also served as a reminder to the little cherub that should he choose to run, he would not get far.

Where would he go anyways? Even if he had heavenly powers, it wasn’t like they would be useful to him now. He would have been drained of them the moment the demon touch him.

Another searing kiss landed on his cheek. “So precious.” The man breathed with a chuckle once they were alone and behind closed doors. He knelt before Jaejoong and cupped his round face with his large hands, and ran his thumbs over the apples of his cheeks. “I have waited so long for this moment and it has finally been gifted to me. It almost does not feel real.”

He looked almost peaceful, Yunho. Like he was truly happy just looking at the boy, his most treasured possession.

But Jaejoong felt more like a scared rabbit than prized object.

Despite Yunho’s sweet voice and tender demeanor, Jaejoong knew better. This man was dangerous and would snap his neck if he so felt like it. He couldn’t trust him. Beings in hell were full of tricks and would do anything to get what they wanted. _Anything._

A tear rolled down his cheek. Yunho kissed it before it could get too far. Again the spot burned like a brand.

“Please let me go home.” Jaejoong cried softly, head bowed down.

“Baby I already told you, you are-”

“No!” The angel whined childishly. “I wanna go home, to _my_ home, my real one in Heaven. I don’t wanna be here! Please don’t make me stay here. I don’t like it! I’m scared!”

“Oh baby.” Yunho took the crying boy into his arms and sat them both on his large bed. He rocked and hummed to Jaejoong until his sobs turned to tiny hiccups. Jaejoong hated how easy it was to lull him. The man’s voice was truly hypnotic and his body so solid and warm.

“You have no reason to fear my little angel. I am here and I will protect you. Here,” Yunho instructed, holding a gauntlet up to Jaejoong’s lips. “Drink this. It’ll help.”

Jaejoong didn’t want to, knowing that it was probably poison or some drug, but his throat was so sore and he was so hungry and thirsty. Maybe a small drink wouldn’t hurt.

Jaejoong sipped the contents in the cup as Yunho watched him with warm but unreadable eyes.

“All of it baby.” Yunho told him, tipping the cup as the boy drank. “It’ll help you relax and adjust to your surroundings.”

Adjust. Jaejoong didn’t want to adjust. He already did that in Heaven. He wasn’t going to do that here.

All the same, his thirst overpowered his other senses. He took breaks for breath but eventually finished all the contents of the cup. It tasted sweet but very different from anything else he ever had before. He even licked his lips unconsciously, earning a chuckled and kiss to his temple.

“No more tears my love.” Yunho sang, holding him close. “I am sorry you are terrified, I never meant for that but you must understand baby, this _is_ your home. Your real home. You belong here, with me. You can never go back up there. I would never allow it.”

Jaejoong felt new tears come to his eyes. “But why? I’m not even a real angel. That’s what you want right? An angel?”

Yunho kissed his temple once more. “Oh baby, you are far more than a simple angel. You are mine, then, now, and for all eternity. And once I fuck you into these sheets and brand you as my mate you will never even dream of such a place ever again.”

Jaejoong stiffened. Such vulgarity had never been used around him before. He knew the meaning of each word individually but for them to be put together in a sentence, and directed at him, it made him sick. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed he was imagining everything.

Maybe he hadn’t really died yet. Maybe he was in a comma like in the movies and he was having an out of body expectance. Yes, that’s it. This was all just one horrible dream. He didn’t die it the car accident. He was just sleeping in the hospital with his mother and farther and sisters all by his side, waiting for him to wake up. That made sense. It was the only thing that made sense.

Oh but the six years prior. And Junsu. And Ryeowook. And Heaven. Was any of it real? Jaejoong so desperately wished to be free from his current situation that he was willing to say that all the love and support and wondrous fun he experience, was all in his head as well. Nothing was real because for that to be real, this place would have to exist too that just couldn’t be.

For the first time ever, Jaejoong was beginning to understand why some chose the path of no faith. Choosing nothing was better than risking Heaven for Hell.

Yunho lifted his head from Jaejoong’s blond mop and met the boy’s distant eyes with his own twinkling ones. “Come on baby. Why don’t we get you out of these icky robes and into a nice warm bath hm? I’m sure you must be exhausted after your journey.”

Though all he did was sit in a cramped cage, dust and grim did find way to his skin so dream or not a bath sounded wonderful. Why not. He offered a tiny smile to kind man and nodded.

Yunho grinned and stood the both of them up. He carried Jaejoong like an actual baby to his connecting bathroom.

This room was just as large and sophisticated, with a large claw (and he did mean claw) foot bathtub that was already steaming with hot water and sweet scented oils. Jaejoong looked from the welcoming bath to the man holding him with questioning eyes.

“Like I said, I was waiting for you my little princesses.”

Jaejoong cheeks reddened when his nose was kissed. He blamed the hot air.

Yunho set him down on his feet and when he didn’t leave the room but instead reached for Jaejoong’s robes, the little thing found an ounce of strength in him to take a step back.

Yunho didn’t look angry, as he feared. He looked rather playful and amused actually. “Silly little angel. Come here so I can get you all nice and cleaned up.”

Jaejoong furiously shook his head, which left him dizzy. He had to hold the side of the basin to stand. “N-no. That’s okay. I can clean myself.”

The man laughed and stepped forward. “Nonsense. Now come here baby.”

“No really, please, I’m okay. I’m not even that dirty.”

Yunho chuckled taking the sash of him robe in to his hand. “You will be.” He husked in the innocent babe’s ear. “Remember what I said Jaejoong. I am not familiar with asking for things twice. Do not deny me again.”

Jaejoong shivered as Yunho peeled his robes off him. Next went his tunic, which Yunho had to get off by holding the drunk boy’s arms up.

 _What was in that drink_ , Jaejoong thought. He was coherent but…tired? Able to move on his own but just barely. Too much movement left him dizzy and made the room spin. He wanted cry as he stood before Yunho, nude as can be but instead he just felt hot. Hot and strange. He never felt this way before.

_Dear God, if this really is a dream, please let me wake up._

“Beautiful.” The man hummed. Jaejoong looked up to Yunho staring down at him. He didn’t like it and attempted to cove himself. Yunho removed his hands easily. “You are so pretty baby. Pretty and pink and pale and petite.” Yunho laughed.

Aside from running a strong calloused hand down the little thing’s chest all the way to his little thing, Yunho kept his antics light and helped the boy into the tub.

The water was hot but not too hot and smelled of lovely floral and vanilla, like it was made for a baby girl rather than an 18 year old young man. But Jaejoong liked it and therefore could not stop himself from sinking further into it.

Yunho rolled up his sleeves. His arms were also heavily inked, just as Jaejoong suspected. He wet a sponge and preceded to gently scrub the child clean. “Please stop.” Jaejoong weakly protested. “I can do it myself.”

“No you cannot.” Yunho told him, washing his back and wings. “You are adjusting. And I really do not think you want me to stop.” He kissed the child’s ear and continued his work.

“But you’re a prince. Princes don’t wash slaves.” Jaejoong spoke relaxed.

Yunho laughed. “And who ever said anything about you being a slave? Yes, I am a prince, a god to some even, but to you I am simply Yunho. Your lover and soon to be mate. That earns you a bath.”

Jaejoong blinked in response as Yunho cleaned between his toes. He was unable the think or even string together proper thought. His head felt so heavy. He rested it on the side of the tub. “How old are you?” he asked suddenly.

“Me?” Yunho teased. “Hm, time is such an irrelevant thing to beings such as myself. I suppose you could say I am 30 since that is about how _old_ I was when my time on Earth was up but I have been in existence for more than 400 of your earth years.”

“I…I don’t understand.” Jaejoong said focusing on the rise of the steam and the feel of Yunho’s hands. “You look so young.”

“Immortality and eternal youth go hand in hand my little love.”

“Ohh. Where were you before?”

“Earth. Just like you. I stayed there with my human mother until I was ready to come here and live out of my existence.”

“You had a human mommy?” Jaejoong asked cutely.

“I did. And human friends and attended human school which was very different back then.” He joked. “I even had a human job for a while and took part in many human activities.”

“But why?”

“Because,” he stated moving to Jaejoong’s arms. “Female demons cannot bear children. We have to use humans as our carriers. Then when the child is of age or deemed ready, they come here where they stop ageing as they are no longer a part of the mortal world.”

“Woooww.” Jaejoong awed. “Angel’s don’t have mommies or daddies. They just poof appear, and never grow up.”

Yunho chuckled at the boy’s cuteness and kissed his hair before massaging shampoo into it. “It is not that simple but yes. That is pretty much it.”

“What if a demons doesn’t wanna come home? Can they stay on Earth?”

“Many do.” Yunho explained as he washed Jaejoong’s hair. “Lots of demons choose to stay on Earth as they get attached their human families. I personally had no choice in the matter but that is alright. I like being a god.” He gave Jaejoong’s ear another kiss.

“Do you ever miss it?”

“Earth? No, not at all. My human mother yes. She cared for me deeply and to this day I have never known such care.”

Jaejoong hummed. “I miss my mommy too. She was the bestest.”

“You remember quite a bit about your human life. That is rare among mortals. Most do not even know that they are dead until told.” Yunho pointed out

“I knew.” Jaejoong whispered. “Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still feel the flames too. Junsu says it’s because I’m special. He says in time I will forget and be just liked everyone else.”

“You could never be like everyone else my love. Now, who is this Junsu? A lover perhaps.” He said voice light and all knowing. He picked up and bowl and used it to wash Jaejoong’s hair out.

“No,” Jaejoong corrected unaware of anything other than the words being spoken to him. “He was my guardian. I don’t think angels are allowed to love.”

“They are not.” Yunho confirmed. “For them, beings who can never truly understand the beauties of pleasure and all that comes with it like lust and jealousy, it is a sin.”

Jaejoong blinked, not understanding Yunho’s words. “W-what do you mean?” He asked, not noticing how Yunho’s hand dipped back into the water even though he was fully clean now.

“I think you know.” Yunho whispered. “In fact, I bet half if not all of those self-righteous fairies up there dream of doing all the fun things I am going to do to you. You know what they say, do you not Joongie. Once an angel had fallen, they never rise again.”

“No-” Jaejoong gasped when Yunho’s hand gripped his limp cock.

“Shh, relax angel.” Yunho cooed kissing the side of the child’s head and holding it in place with his other hand. “Just relax. Just like this place, you will soon grow to love my touch. Crave it even.”

Jaejoong whimpered and failed at moving away.

“You may not be my slave little angel, but I will turn you into my slut. Just you wait.” He sped up the movements of his hand and lapped at a patch of Jaejoong’s wet skin. “Mmm, you taste just as delicious as I imagined. Better even.”

Jaejoong felt tears well up in his eyes and spill. This was wrong. So wrong. No one was supposed to ever touch him there except for a woman on the night of their wedding. This was sin. Being with a man was a sin. Even if he had already earned his place in Heaven, he still wanted to remain pure. He was sad at first that he never did get to marry or find love but he was okay with that. He accepted it. Junsu even told him that it was possible for him to find companionship in Heaven. Many unmarried people did. He was looking forward to that. He didn’t want this.

“Please,” Jaejoong begged. “S-stop.”

Yunho laughed again but not in the joyous fashion as before. Jaejoong was quickly remained that he was at the mercy of demon and not a kind creature as he seconds ago thought himself lucky to find. “Now why would I do that angel?” He grinned, tipping Jaejoong head up to his. “Judging by your cock, if you can call it that, you want this just as much as I do. And why should you not? You quite literally came into existence just for me.” He pressed his thumb in to Jaejoong’s slit and pressed their lips together.

Jaejoong couldn’t stop crying. He cursed his body and cursed his life. It felt good. So good. Yunho’s kiss, his touch, the way he spoke in such a deep baritone. The way his tongue suffocated him and gave him air at all once. It made his insides burn and his heart race. His body was betraying him as well. He didn’t want to enjoy this. He shouldn’t enjoy this. This was… This was…

“Ooohhh.” Jaejoong moaned.

Yunho broke away from the kiss and pinched and rubbed at Jaejoong’s nipples with his free hand. “There you go. Let it out my love. Enjoy.”

 _It’s just a dream. It’s only a dream._ A horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE dream where he was drugged and unable to fight against his attacker. He moaned wantonly and proceed to rock his hips into Yunho’s skilled hand.

Yunho kissed him again. Just as deep and just as hungrily. “You want to cum.”

It was more of a statement than a question but Jaejoong knew the meaning of those words. He had nine older sisters after all that were a lot more vulgar than was proper of god fearing ladies. He nodded as he tried to hold in his whimpers.

“Beg me for it.” Yunho demanded.

It was a dream. What did his dignity and purity mean in a dream? “Please?” He asked.

Yunho chuckled and bit his neck. “Cute, but that is not begging angel. Try again.” He tightened his grip and increased his pace.

“Oh!” Jaejoong bit his lip as he tried to compose himself. “P-please. C-can…let me c-cum.”

Jaejoong didn’t know where those words came from. He had never said anything so dirty. Yet they fell from his lips like they had always been there, waiting. Taking up valued vocabulary and unconscious thought. What was happening to him?

Yunho hummed and smiled at him. “I suppose that will do for now. We can work on this later.”

Jaejoong’s vision went white and his muscles impossible tight as his first ever orgasm roared through his system. He threw his head back and trashed around in the water until his body calmed to light spasms.

Yunho chuckled darkly and released him. “Beautiful.” He praised. “So fucking beautiful. It is good that you like it a little rough. You will learn to take more but until then, I am happy to know I do not have to hold back as much.”

Jaejoong twitched and shivered despite never feeling so hot in his life (or afterlife). _What just happen?_ He was ready to cry again but was too exhausted to produce tears. It was like that part of him was all used up. That in it of itself broke him further. To be so sad one could not emote and only accept.

_Please let me wake up._

“I think that’s enough fun for the day.” Yunho said, lifting him out of the tub and wrapping him up in a fluffy red towel. “After all, we have all eternity to play and build up your stamina.” He laughed.

Jaejoong blinked tiredly as he was carried to back to the bedroom. He tried not to ponder further on the demon’s words as he rubbed him down in sweet smelling oils and tucked him in bed. He watched as Yunho removed his own clothing before joining him under the warm sheets.

More ink. So much more beautiful ink.

Yunho kissed him sweetly as he held him close. “Get some sleep my little Angel. Tomorrow your training begins.”

“Training?” Jaejoong managed to speak.

Yunho chuckled. “Well of course. We have to rid you off that nonsense they filled your pretty little head with. Thank _God_ I was able to stop most of it before it could even sink in.”

Jaejoong didn’t laugh. He blinked again, the puzzle pieces coming together to form a twisted and mangled picture. He wished he was more alert so that the realization would be more sickening to him.

The static.

The blaring horns.

The screaming, the laughter.

Whispers of things he did not understand nor ever wanted to.

“The noise. It was you.”

Yunho kissed his closed lids making Jaejoong impossibly more tired. “You are quick. Now rest my love. Tomorrow our lives begin.”

Though more asleep than awake, Jaejoong couldn’t help but smile sadly; bitterly. This was the second time, third if you count his baptism, a phrase of such a nature was being spoken to him. The words were a little different each time but the meaning remained the same.

A new beginning. It was such an odd statement, in Heaven and now here curled against the ruler of sin and lust. What was there to begin when his life as he knew it, was coming to a close. For real this time.

_It’s not a dream._

 

 

 


	2. There are things worse than death little angel and oddly enough, many are just curious enough to end their lives and seek it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real quick. Not all flashbacks are memories and not all memories are flashbacks. Pay attention to the italics.  
> 

**WARNING: this chapter is the beginning of gore and it will contain a tiny scene at the end of guro. In later chapter it's only going to get worse so if any of this bothers you STOP READING NOW. You will not offend me.**

 

 

_\--Sunday, January 26 th\--_

“You look darling!”

Jaejoong smiled at his mother from the back seat of the car and stopped fidgeting with his sleeves. “Thank you mommy.”

“Honey he’s 18 now.” His father pointed out. “He’s a man. Men aren’t adorable.”

Jaejoong giggled at his father’s correction. The man gave him a knowing smile through the rear view mirror.

Mrs. Kim rolled her eyes. “Sorry. You look handsome then.” She said patting Jaejoong on the knee. “And adorable.”

Mr. Kim shook his head as he continued his careful drive on the frozen road. “You know, Pastor Park prepared a special sermon just for you today.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened in excitement. “He did? Really?!” Pastor Park was the new Pastor at their church after Pastor Chee left for some unknown reason.

“Well after some nagging from your mother-”

“Oh hush you.” Mrs. Kim interrupted, playfully hitting her husband on the arm. “I merely put the idea out there after our last bible study. And why shouldn’t he. Jaejoong’s the best singer in the choir, he volunteers the most out of everyone, all the children in Sunday school love him-”

“He can’t watch The Passion of Christ without crying.”

“Sookjin.” His father warned sternly.

The youngest, elder sister rolled her eye before putting her earphones it.

Jaejoong offered his sister a soft smile. Sookjin wasn’t the best at expressing her feelings. Half the time she made fun of him only to combat anyone who dared do the same. He didn’t understand his sister but he loved her dearly and he knew the feeling was mutual.

Also she wasn’t wrong. He did cry. A LOT.

He reached up to give her a kiss on the cheek. She was much taller than him. All his sisters were. “Thank you.” He whispered. In reference to the birthday card she slipped under his door this morning.

She didn’t look his way but that was fine. He could see her smile through the reflection of the glass.

“Oh, Jinhee just arrived at the church.” His mother announced looking at her phone. She gripped the dashboard when the car swerved. “Honey watch out for the ice.”

“I got it dear.” Mr. Kim reassured, wondering how the car moved at all. He was a very careful driver.

“Jinhee is coming!?” Jaejoong gasped. He hadn’t seen his eldest sister in ages. Sookjin was the only one of his eight sisters who still lived at home. He didn’t get to see the others often.

“Everyone is coming son. This is a big day for you.” His father added.

Jaejoong couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear. This was going to be the best birthday ev-

**_djagjrjpehojpoShhhogjrioghaq_ comemylove _dogjog_ HAHAHA _dsdjg_**

Jaejoong winced and held his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the noise to pass.

“Oh sweetheart. Are you having one of your migraines again?” His mother asked concerned, looking back at him.

Jaejoong tried to nod as he held his head.

“Did you take your meds?” He father inquired worried.

**_Qpwprpqrupuytwpq_ almost _vcxvbcxxvdkfg_ dontwait _dg_**

Jaejoong sniffled and shook his head. “I don’t like them. They make me sleepy.”

Him mother sighed and opened her bag. “Sweetie, we’ve been over this. You have to take your medicine. It'll help you.”

“Being a drugged out mess helps him?”

Mrs. Kim shot her daughter a glare before handing Jaejoong the bottle of pills and some water. “Here, honey take two.”

**_wrotueugfhjvd_ over _duhgjkw_**

Jaejoong groaned and reluctantly popped two pills in his mouth and took a swig of the water. He hated his medicine. It didn’t do anything and noise was only getting worse. His doctor said it was psychological; a possible birth defect since he was born three months premature (hence why he was so small and his mother so doting). Jaejoong though, had reason to believe otherwise.

The noise didn’t start until he was about 12 or 13. Back then it wasn’t even really a noise. Just random unclear words he heard from time to time. It never lasted for more than a few seconds but over the last year, his suffering would last anywhere between two minutes and three hours. It got so bad he even had to stop going to school. There was a time when he was managing but now, it seemed as if this noise no one believed he was hearing, was in control of his life.

**_Slggr_ think _ddggfhv_ me _lfkgifd_**

Jaejoong wiped his eyes on his suite jacket and took out a notebook and a pencil from his bag. The noise wasn’t so bad when he was drawing. It went away almost entirely. It made him love his secret hobby all the more.

“Will you please let me take him to a specialist now?” His mother whispered to his father.

“He’s been to three already. They all say the same thing and just up his medication.”

“Honey he needs real help. Look, Pastor Park told me about this place that-”

“No.” Jaejoong’s father said sternly. “We are not sending our son off to some special religious camp. You know how I feel about-”

“DAD WATCH OUT!”

“SHIT!”

Mr. Kim swerved sharply to avoid hitting the oncoming car that came out of nowhere but soon lost control due to all the snow and ice on the road.

Sookjin screamed.

Mrs. Kim screamed.

His father screamed.

Then the noise stopped and everything went dark.

Jaejoong opened his eyes for a brief moment before closing again. Everything was blurry and mudded. He thought he saw lights but he couldn’t be sure. His head was in searing pain and there was a constant ringing in his ears but it was different from the noise. It didn’t cripple him but it did amplify the pain he was in.

He forced his eyes open again and saw men taking his mother and father out of the car. His father wasn’t moving but his mother was fighting franticly. Her lips moved at lightning speed but all that came out was silence. Aside from the ringing, Jaejoong could hear nothing. Not even his own thoughts.

He turned his head to the side and saw a woman wrapping something around his sister’s neck and removing her from the vehicle next. There was blood all over her head and neck. It run down her side and stained her favorite dress. The navy one he helped her pick out.

 _Sookjin_ , he tried to say.

“Relax child.”

Jaejoong turned his head to the front. There was a man sitting where his mother once was. He was dressed in all white and looked almost like he was glowing, though that could just be Jaejoong seeing things. Had the newly 18 year old been in a more coherent state, he might have been fearful of the handsome looking man, but with the ringing in his ears and pounding in his head, he couldn’t bother to feel anything other than confused.

“Who…who are you?”

The man smiled. “My name is Minho little one.”

“What’s happening?” He asked tiredly. He was so sleepy all of a sudden. The pain was still there but it was dulling. That was nice.

“You were in a car accident.” Minho explained. “The paramedics are trying to help your family right now but do not worry about them. They will be alright.”

Jaejoong blinked. He looked out his cracked window and saw blotted colors of blue and white and red in the distance. He saw he father laying on a gurney with people all around him treating his wounds. His mother was seated upright in the back of a truck. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to read her lips. She was crying, calling out to him. Jaejoong couldn’t hear her voice but he could feel it. He tried to lift a hand to reach out to her, to let her know he was oaky too, but found he could not. The car that hit them was had pinned his arm between his torso and the door, crushing it to an unrecognizable mess. There was so much blood and…white? He turned away from the gruesome sight when he realized it was his bone sticking out at odd angles.

“W-why are you here? What’s going on? Why can’t I hear anything? Why-”

“Jaejoong you need to relax. I’m here to help you but you must relax first.”

Jaejoong closed his eyes, the smell of copper and gas making him more lightheaded than he already was. Tears rolled down his bloody cheeks as he struggled for breath. “I…I don’t understand. How do you know my name?”

“You will. Just relax alright. It’ll all be over soon.” Minho answered, ignoring his second question.

A woman came through the side were Sookjin was sitting but she wasn’t in white and she wasn’t glowing. She smiled at him and appeared to be speaking but again, the words fell on Jaejoong’s deaf ears. He winced as she attempted to treat his wounds while fire fighters on his other side struggled to move the other car holding him in place.

Jaejoong tried to speak but all that came out was a pained groan. “My head hurts.” He cried. “My tummy does too.” Had he looked down again he would have noticed his femur stabbing his abdomen.

Minho nodded. “I know” He said sadly. “I promise you, this will be the last pain you ever feel.”

Jaejoong choked on his tears. “I don’t wanna die.”

Minho didn’t answer him. If possible, his expression turned more somber.

Had his muscles been working properly, he eyes would have widened at the silent confirmation.

He was going to die here. Actually, literally die here. And at only 18.

Never once was Jaejoong oblivious about his mortality. The process of death and dying was a natural part of life that all would go through someday. He always knew his time would come he just didn’t think that that time would be so soon.

He never really thought of his death but he had always assumed it would be long after his parents and sisters, in his home with his wife and children at his side. That’s how his grandfather went. One night he went to bed in their home and never woke up. His family had been distraught despite the man being in his 90’s but Jaejoong; that was the one time in which warranted tears didn’t not fall from his face. To fall asleep and then wake up in Heaven. That sounded lovely.

That’s how Jaejoong wanted to go. Quickly and painlessly. In a slow mangled mess with his family fighting for their lives was not ideal but as a child of strong faith and unyielding beliefs, who was he to argue with the master plan. He did wish he had the chance to say goodbye to his friends and family though. They would go on without him just fine but a proper goodbye would have been a nice send off.

His existence was always more of a hindrance than anything else but he liked to think that he provided some sort of emotional support to the people around him. Maybe he wasn’t physically strong and mentally still a child but there were people that cared about him. That meant he held some kind of importance right?

Suddenly the woman trying to help him pulled away and everything became painfully hot. Jaejoong cried and struggled for a few painful seconds before the burning stopped and flames that engulfed him felt like nothing.

“It’s time.” Minho finally said. “Take my hand Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong didn’t move. His eyes were too transfixed on the smoke and flame around him. He thought of the onetime his father took them all camping and how the smoke and embers from the camp fire burned his eyes. It amazed him how far away that time seemed now, even though it was just last year. Right before the noise became unbearable.

“Were you the noise?” He asked the angel.

Minho looked at him strange. “What noise child?”

Jaejoong sighed, his eyes drifting close. “Nothing.” He whispered giving Minho his good hand. “C-can I sleep now?”

“Of course.” Minho told him, taking him into his arms.

Jaejoong smiled one last time at the angel before closing his eyes to all that he knew and loved.

\--

 

 

 

Jaejoong yawned cutely as he awoke from his peaceful slumber. He stretched and mewled before snuggling further into the warm sheets. He felt like sleeping in today. That was allowed in Heaven.

But he wasn’t in Heaven. At least not anymore.

Jaejoong’s eyes shot open. He quickly sat up in the large bed and looked around the unfamiliar room. He stared down at the blood red sheets coving his naked form as the memories of last night (if it could be called that, he couldn’t tell in this place) came flooding back to him. A sod escaped his throat as tears came to his eyes.

He was in Hell. Literally. He of all people was it the realm of constant pain and despair. He, a good boy, a child of faith who never did wrong by any one was here among rapist and murders. A preverbal angel who now lied with sin.

Was there anything more cliché?

 _Why_ , he wept, _what did I do wrong?_ Jaejoong was only human. He wasn’t perfect but he couldn’t think of a single thing he did living that could have possibly landed him here. He tried his best to do right and in the rare event he did sin he would simply ask God for forgiveness and then everything would be okay.

Or at least that’s how it was supposed to work.

Right?

For the first time ever, Jaejoong wasn’t so sure of his teachings anymore.

Speaking of teachings, another thing didn’t make any sense and it was quite a big thing. Jaejoong had actually died and gone _to_ Heaven. He earned his spot. He even had the wings to show how good and faithful and righteous he was in his short 18 years.

So what happened?

As far as he knew, no one got kicked out of Heaven. Aside from angels for _very_ specific and very **_evil_** reasons, once you were in, you were in. Now in truth Jaejoong was not kicked out. He left on a supervised trip with his guardian that ended in him somehow being captured but that was beside the point. Junsu had told him that once a soul was save, it was saved. Another realm couldn’t claim it.

Now if that were true and Jaejoong didn’t doubt it was, didn’t that mean that once the demon even tried to take him, it wouldn’t work? There was a sad story that rumored around Heaven. About an angel that fell in love with a demon. Every time they tried to be together, that always wound up right back where they started. Heaven or hell. Claimed souls could not be stolen or claimed by another.

But what if…what if Heaven _was_ the other?

Jaejoong was never one for skeptical thoughts but even he couldn’t turn a blind eye to the demon prince’s excessive use of the word _home_ and _mate_. It was also notable to note that for all that Yunho was, and capable of, the demon had been nothing but truly kind to him.

Apart from his first few minutes of arrival, no real harm had come to Jaejoong. Yes it had been less than 24 hours and there was the incident in the bath but part of Jaejoong, a part he refused to acknowledge, didn’t count that as harm as it didn’t _necessarily_ hurt. He was comforted, fed (kind of), clothed, and even bathed. It was like he was a long awaited guest, not a prisoner. And didn’t Yunho say that he had been waiting for him? So wasn’t it possible that…

 _No!_ Jaejoong told himself. He refused to think such a way anymore. He knew better than to trust such vial creatures. They were liars, cheats, bringers of pain that fed off of hate and sadness. He would not let them trick him.

 _Mate_. The word almost made him laugh. As if demons were even capable of companionship. The thing himself even admitted the male’s raped women and forced them to give birth to their offspring.

The how and why Jaejoong was here held little importance at this point. All that mattered now was how he was going to get out of this awful place. And he needed to go fast. On one of the rare days he was able to pay attention in Sunday school, there was a saying he heard that forever haunted him.

_The farther a soul wandered from the light, the tighter the hold of the darkness._

Whether it was meant metaphorical or literal, Jaejoong did not want to stick around to find out. He heard what happened to beings, mortal and otherwise, that fell past the vail. He was not going to end up like them.

_But they weren’t claimed._

**_Click._ **

There was a muted creek and rattle as the heavy door to the bedroom was being opened. Jaejoong jumped and scrambled to hide under the sheets. He could voice his convictions another day. Right now, he was not prepared (let alone knew how) to face any monsters just yet.

He just wanted to go home. Was that so wrong?

_Tap. Tap._

He counted eight footsteps before silence fell over the room once more. Jaejoong poked his head out from under the comforter and looked to and fro. Everything looked the same. He released the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Boo.”

“AHHH!”

The demon threw his head back with a hearty laugh at the child’s overreaction. Jaejoong pouted before realizing who he was in the presence of.

“Apologies.” The demon said, walking to the window. “Couldn’t resist.” He opened the curtains and looked back at the child. “Don’t tell Yunho about that by the way. I rather like my head where it is.”

Jaejoong glared from where he was swaddled in the sheets, a new emotion rising within his chest. “Y-you.”

“Me.” It mocked.

“This is all your fault.”

The demon gave him an odd look before returning to his work of tidying up the room. “And just what might I be guilty of?”

“You brought me here!” Jaejoong shouted, rage taking over. “None of this ever would have ever happened if it wasn’t for you! I’m supposed to be in Heaven! I’m an angel!”

The being narrowed his onyx eyes at the boy curiously. He stalked over to the child and loomed over him with a stare so ominous and unreadable, Jaejoong audibly gulped and scooted farther up the bed as if the simple act would bring about protection. “And here I believed you to be smart. You have no idea what you are do you?”

Jaejoong blinked terrified. “Wh-what do you mean?”

A crocked grim smeared it’s otherwise attractive face. He chucked and stood upright. “Lucky Yunho. He gets to have all the fun.” He continued to laugh puzzling Jaejoong further. “If you do not know now, then it is not my place to say. Take it up with your _mate_ if you please. Oh and I was not the one that ‘brought’ you here. That was my brother, I’m Yoochun. I try to limit the amount of time I spend away from the castle.”

Jaejoong pouted further at the demon’s words. “Please don’t call him that. He’s not-”

“I really don’t care.” Yoochun interrupted. “Now get dress. Yunho is waiting for you.” He set down a folded garment at the foot of the bed.

Jaejoong looked at the ornate robs with a frown. “I don’t want to.”

Yoochun sighed. He was getting annoyed now. “Just do it. Yunho’s expecting you at breakfast and he does not like to be kept wait-”

“No! I don’t care! I hate him and I hate you! I wanna go home. I wanna go home right now! I hate this place.” He broke into another sob before burring himself in the soft sheets once more.

Yoochun did not move to comfort the boy. That’s not what he was sent here to do. He simply rolled his eyes and took his leave from the room. “Fine. I’ll tell Yunho to fetch you himself then.”

Jaejoong most certainly did not want that. “Wait!”

Yoochun turned to face him with a stoic expression.

“Can…can I at last ware my old clothes?”

Yoochun looked from the boy to old plain robes in his arms he had intended to burn. He shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me.” He said, tossing the garments back to Jaejoong. “When you are finished come to the dining hall. If you are not there in ten minutes, Yunho will come looking for you.”

Jaejoong gulped again and nodded.

When he was finally alone, he looked down at his plain cloths and bit his lip to keep his never ending tears at bay. He held them to his face and inhaled their fading sugary scent for comfort. Not everyone wore such ordinary attire in Heaven. Most dressed as they did when alive but Jaejoong liked to dress as the other angels, in plain white tunics and simple cream gowns with convenient holes cut into them for his wings. They gave him an odd sense of comfort after his traumatic death. Especially since he could remember the event so well.

He sighed and reluctantly began dressing himself. He made a quick stop in the bathroom to both relieve himself and splash some water on his face before taking a deep breath and exiting the “Master’s” bedroom. Not even a full second pasted before Jaejoong realized he had absolutely no idea where his required destination was.

A noise that sounded like a cross between a whining child and an angry kitten left his throat as he took off in a random direction. Hopefully he’d get lucky and wind up at the exit of this God forsaken place.

On and on Jaejoong walked. Down a seemingly never ending corridor, void of lefts and rights as well as doors and exits. It struck the child as odd, the emptiness of the hall. He distinctly remembered passing several doors and halls the day before as Yunho led the way to his room. He even recalled picturing tortuous equipment and horrible nightmares behind each one. Now there was nothing, as if the space was stripped of anything that otherwise might distract him on his journey.

Not even another soul or demon crossed his path, for which Jaejoong was greatly relieved.

After about five minutes (he was guessing of course) the hallway ended and gave way to a grand space. An unfathomability large tale was set up with matching decorative chairs and an unsurmountable amount of food on top. The setting was quite formal what with the large candelabras and sparkly chandler above but from Yoochun’s words and the food itself, Jaejoong could see breakfast was being served.

Kind of.

There was not a plate nor bowl nor set of silverware in sight despite the large amount of food on display. Jaejoong might think he had the wrong room had he not spotted his captor/ tormentor at the head of the table; sitting casually, reading from a parchment, and drinking something from a gauntlet.

He was dressed in all black again but no suite this time. Just a simple crisp button up and commonplace trousers. His hair was still slicked back with the sides cut short and his skin remained just as tan and just as beautifully stained with intricate ink.

It angered him to no end how good Yunho looked. Why couldn’t the demon be an ugly beast or at least a little unsightly as what was always depicted in books and movies? It was no wonder so many people choose the path of sin and depravity. Its leader alone was so impossibly stunning that the promise of good and eternal life paled in comparison.

Jaejoong took a single step forward. His barefoot not making even the tiniest sound on the smooth marble but incidentally it was enough to make Yunho looked up from the parchment he was reading. His scowl turning into a smile and his eyes became bright and alive.

“Angel.” He beamed rising from his seat.

Jaejoong blinked, unsure if it was the same man he was ogling only seconds ago. How quickly Yunho filtered between emotions was slightly unnerving.

He retracted the hypnotized step he took but was quickly caught in the demon’s warm embrace. Jaejoong fought between remaining tense and melting in the man’s arms. He was so warm. Jaejoong liked being warm. The cold was murder on his fragile joints and weak bones.

Yunho pulled back and caught the boy’s face between his palms. “How did you sleep my love?” He asked with a dazzling smile.

Jaejoong gaped, unsure of what to say. The kind, strange man with warm eyes and whimsical smile he met yesterday was back and once more the little angle forgot just where he was.

His cheeks burned from where the man held him and his air mixed with whatever intoxicating sent Yunho was emitting. He felt lighted headed again, just like the night before, and was quite certain that had no one been holding him up, he would have collapsed.

Oh how he hated this man, this creature, for making him feel this way.

Yunho pouted childishly when Jaejoong didn’t respond but was prepared to speak for them both. “I am terribly sorry I was not there to greet you when you awoke my little love. I had some matters to attend to. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

Jaejoong didn’t bother with a reply. How could he when Yunho’s hands were just about the softest things he ever felt against his skin. And he once cuddled a kitten on a cloud.

“Oh angel, you are not wearing the robes I made for you. Did you not like them?”

There was a question. Jaejoong registered that much but instead of answering, he continued his slow tired blinks and he memorized the feeling of Yunho’s skin against his. He wanted to feel more of it but being the innocent babe he was, did not allow his thoughts to wonder pass that on the man being shirtless on a beach or wrapped up in a towel after a long shower. He sighed and nuzzled his cheek into the man’s palm as if it were a pillow or the kitten Junsu gifted him many summers ago when he voiced how lonely he was. He sighed and for the tiniest second believed that never again would he feel so estranged.

Yunho quirked a curious brow at the boy’s dramatic change in his presence. A devilish smirk took form on his lips as he sensed just where the child’s thoughts and limbo were going. He chuckled and kissed the boy’s lips more innocently than anyone could think possible for a demon of pain and lust. Jaejoong smiled unaware of the context, content with simply listening to the soothing deep laugh of the man he…

“I am glad to see you enjoying my touch so much angel but we have an eternity to acquaint our bodies with one another. Right now you must eat, unless of course,” He leaned in close to the boy’s ear. “You’re hungry for something else.”

And like that, whatever spell some cruel, careless fairy godmother cast upon him, was broken and like Alice realizing Wonderland wasn’t so wondrous, Jaejoong was reminded of his current situation and the cause of it all.

Yunho chuckled again, delighting in seeing the horror arise in Jaejoong’s doe eyes. “Perhaps later than. Come my love. I had all your favorites prepared.”

Jaejoong blinked twice. A chill unassociated with the cold ran up his spin. Dark colors stomped out the warmth and sickening laughter drowned out the magic.

He was in Hell.

And no matter how many times he said it, felt it, saw it, and knew it to be true, it still didn’t feel real, and never did he want it to.

The little angel attempted to pull away but Yunho already had his dainty wrist in a vice grip. He whimpered as the man gently pushed him into the only seat now with a plate setting before it. He eyed the bone china nervously. It was beautiful really. Simple yet traditional. Something his mother would covet but never use unless she was trying to impress the ladies in her bible study or Pastor Park.

The though caused his heart to grow a little somber. His death was always at the back of his mind but never before had his past consumed so much of his thoughts. It wasn’t normal for souls to think about or even remember their life before the afterlife. Jaejoong would have liked to blame the change in atmosphere but knew it wasn’t entirely the demon’s fault. He was just that unlucky.

A hand brushed back his golden locks that hid his watering eyes. Yunho used his thumb to pet the boy’s puffy cheek to offer some form comfort. This time Jaejoong didn’t see a point in fighting or pulling away. The gesture was nice. Even if it was at the hands of a demon who kidnapped him and kept making inappropriate innuendos at him.

“Why don’t you try and eat something love. It’ll make you feel better.” Yunho suggested from his seat at the head of the table, left of Jaejoong.

Jaejoong shook his head. “I’m not-” He stopped and put a hand to his flat belly. His eyes widened as a feeling he had not experience in just over six years came back to him. “I’m hungry.” He whipped his head over to Yunho. “I’m hungry?”

Yunho smiled and began piling the boy’s plate with food. “You are.” He cooed. “Which is why you need to eat.”

Jaejoong looked at the food before him confused. There was toast with jam, biscuits with butter. Eggs, ham, bacon, waffles, even pancakes with little chocolate chips in them. Fresh fruit, warm cereal, cold cereal. It was quite literally a display of all his favorite breakfast items that he was excited to eat. But not because he wanted to.

Yesterday he blamed his hunger on being back on Earth. Junsu had said it was likely to happen and psychologically it made sense. In Heaven, over all people did eat. He himself indulged in sweets far more than he ever would have been allowed to alive but it was not because he felt the need to. Eating was a novelty in Heaven, a force of habit or something done for enjoyment or taste. Not nourishment. That meant hunger and dead people didn’t experience hunger.

They also didn’t go to the bathroom, which he had also done earlier.

He watch as Yunho stabbed two fluffy pancakes and stacked them on his plate. “I’m…dead. Right?”

Yunho broke into a loud laugh at that. Jaejoong forced him to ignore the fuzzy feeling it gave him. “In a matter of speaking, yes, you are.” The man finally said. “As a doorknob I believe mortals would say. Do they still say that? So much of speech has changed in so little time.”

“I-I guess.” Jaejoong said very confused. “Why am I hungry then?”

Yunho looked at him for a moment before setting his plate down. “Hunger,” the man began. “Like bowel moments, tiredness, and even lust, are very much considered forms of pain. Even in tiny increments, they are pains associated with that of the physical form. When a soul goes to Heaven these pains are expelled as you no longer have a physical form to experience them with. However, here my little cherub, you regain a physical form as here in this realm we are not so adverse to a little discomfort. Does that make sense?”

Jaejoong thought for a second as Yunho filled his glass with milk. “But I’m dead. How could I have a physical form if I’m dead?”

“Ahh. You are confusing the realm of the physical with the realm of the spiritual darling.” Yunho said almost excitedly. “There is in fact a difference and whether you are alive or dead is not the distinction. But that is a matter that will be explained later today in your training.”

Another shiver ran down his spine at the word. Jaejoong did not plan on sticking around long enough to find out what his “training” might entailed but he still felt the need to ask, “Will it hurt?”

Yunho smiled at him sympathetically. His hands again found their way to the child’s face where Jaejoong once more took refuge in the amenity they provided.

More than his family’s love ever did or his faith’s teachings ever could, Jaejoong found a comfort he did not know was possible from the demon’s touch. It was warm and inviting. It gave him relief from whatever it was he was feeling and put his mind and beating heart at ease. He hated himself for it but was reluctant to leave the tranquil little cocoon it gave him. It was nice. No, better than nice. It felt ri-

“Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong opened his eyes and looked up at the man.

Yunho’s smile sweetened. “Pain is not something to fear my little love and you will learn that very soon. Your training falls under the same pretext but if the word contains connotations unpleasant to your little ear than lessons we shall call them. How does that sound?”

“Lessons?” Jaejoong repeated, as if hearing the word for the first time.

Yunho laughed. “Yes darling, lessons. Lessons for understanding yourself, me, our home, and our eternity. There is much you do not know my love and I will admit, I am to blame for some of that but even more has been distorted and force fed to you. Together we will fix that.”

That sounded wonderful but then again everything Yunho said sounded wonderful. And perhaps that’s what broke the final rune.

Of course everything Yunho said sounded wonderful. This was his thing. Lust and pleasure and pain and all manners of things Jaejoong dared never to dream of were what created the man before him. It was all an illusion. An assortment of pretty sounds and fantastic colors created to temp and captivate him. And it worked. Jaejoong was captivated; more so even. He had fallen pass the vail and a small part of him could care less if he returned or not.

Sin was easy. Especially when it looked this good and had such an amazing smile. But because sin was easy, everyone did it, and because everyone did it Jaejoong knew that the beautiful words sang to him by the charming demon, were not for his ears alone.

How many souls before him experienced the same magic? How many would come after him when the immortal grew board or tired of him? How much long was he going to let him believe an obvious rouse? He was not special. Not to Yunho and not to anyone here. He was just another boy who died too young and now was going to be eaten alive (dead?) by his captor of less than a day.

His only wish was that others hadn’t held out longer than he. That would just be embarrassing.

A kiss was pressed to his temple and he turned slightly to see Yunho still smiling affectionately at him.

 _It’s not real_ , he told himself. _You have to remember it’s not real._

“Here love, have a bite.” Yunho told him, cutting the pancakes with an unnecessarily sharp knife.

Jaejoong looked at the sugary breakfast before turning his head. “I don’t want any.”

Yunho’s shoulders slumped. “Angel, you need to eat. If you don’t you can’t get stronger-”

“I don’t want to get stronger, I don’t even want to be here! And the last time I took something from you it was a drug. If you won’t let me go home fine but at least let me keep my dignity in the process.” He crossed his arms, proud with himself for resisting the man’s advances.

Dark laughter, darker than before, rang in his ears. It chilled his bones and strangled his spine. Jaejoong shivered and willed himself to not turn and face the heat inching towards him.

“Drug you?” Yunho mocked. “It that what you think I did? Silly little angel. A monster I am yes but please do not reduce me to a common mortal rapist. I would like to believe I am much more frightening than that.”

Jaejoong bit his lip. Tears started to take form in his eyes and his shaking grew worse. There was a heat rising in his belly but his skin felt clammy and cold. He had no understanding what was happening to him and wasn’t so sure if he wanted to.

Yunho kissed his ear and licked the shell. “Hmm drugs are so petty to me. Personally I like my bedmates fully coherent when I fuck them. Makes things much more interesting. Now we both know that if I really wanted to fuck you, well that’s not right because I do but had you been anyone else, my cock would have been up your ass by now and I most certainly would not be concerning myself with your comfort let alone whether you have a nutritious meal or not. But as you are my mate I am trying my hand at this ‘nice’ thing for a change and if I were you I would take advantage of it because there is no telling when I will grow tired of this little act and simply take what is mine.”

Jaejoong hiccupped, his eyes wide and cheeks stained with tears. He felt sick and warm and he didn’t know why. What was happening to him? Why was this happening to him?

Yunho took hold of his chin and forced the boy to look at him. “For the record love, the elixir I gave you last night really was to help you adjust to the atmosphere here. As for the lust you felt, well, that was all you because contrary to popular belief I may be capable of many things but forcing you or anyone else to feel lust is not one of them. I can enhance it, feed off of it, indulge in it myself but I can not plant a seed which is not already sprouting. If I could do that there would be no need for you in the first place.” He laughed. “Now let us dry those eyes and get some food in your tummy hmm?”

Jaejoong sniffled and looked between the fork held out to him and the creature from his darkest nightmares. No, Yunho was worse than that. Jaejoong didn’t think he was capable of concocting such an evil being in his innocent mind.

“Remember angel, I do NOT enjoy asking for things twice.”

Jaejoong gulped. What was the point? This was his fate for the foreseeable future. A very short future one might add. He might as well not make it any worse than it already was. Grudgingly, he opened his mouth just a little and allowed Yunho to spoon feed him his breakfast.

“There.” Yunho sighed in success. “Good?”

The food, yes. It was delicious really but as for everything else, ‘good’ was the last thing it was. How he was actually feeling, Jaejoong doubted the demon cared so instead to make his last few hours a little less miserable he offered a tiny nod in reply and let the man proceed to fed him.

It wasn’t so bad. The food really was good and soon a comfortable somewhat silence did fall between them. Jaejoong continued to eat his meal, pointing at different things he wanted to try, while Yunho seemed to delight in feeding him, cooing at the child every time his little pink tongue stuck out to catch something that escaped his mouth.

Time went unnoticed by Jaejoong and it seemed as though in this place, that was kind of the point. A never ending void of sorrow and pain, with no record of when it started or when it would ended. That in it of itself was a form of torture.

Jaejoong knew he was going to go mad here, if he was allowed to “live” that long, so for no other reason other than the preservation of his coherent mind, he thought of things other than his fast approaching demise.

He thought of the room and how nice it was. He thought of his meal and Yunho’s tattoos and their possible meaning. And he thought of Junsu and what he might be doing right about now. Probably teaching Ryeowook how to control his powers. The younger was still learning.

He also took notice that his eyes were able to discern the space around him better. It was easier to tell whether it was day as opposed to night and his lungs no longer burned every time he took a breath. The meal today and drink from yesterday really were helping him but Jaejoong didn’t want help. He didn’t ever want to get use to this place.

He wanted Heaven.

He wanted his bed with all its pillows and endless sweets and his kitten that never grew up. He wanted paradise. He was coming to terms with the fact that he might not ever see it again but that didn’t stop his wishful thinking any more or less. He still had very little understanding as to why he of all people were forced into this role but he could care less at this point. He just wanted to go home but he had a feeling that his wants were of no importance here.

“I owe you an apology angel.”

Jaejoong nearly choked on his milk. He put down the glass and looked at the somber demon next to him. “W-what?”

Yunho smiled and used a napkin to whip his chin. “I said I own you an apology. And stop making me repeat myself.” He said playfully.

Jaejoong hid his laugh behind his palm.

Yunho sighed and pet the boy’s head. “What a truly enchanting laugh you have. I suppose it is my fault I do not hear that sound more often.”

Jaejoong gave the man an odd look. It had only been a day right? He didn’t know where the man was going with this.

“I owe you an apology my love. It was never my intentions to scare you or make your adjustment here any harder than it already must be. I am a bit of a sadist you see, and it comes out in more ways than one but that is no excuse. I am sorry.”

Jaejoong blinked at the being confused. Demons didn’t apologize…did they? Come to think of it there was very little Jaejoong knew about demons at all but he figured that was okay. It wasn’t like he ever had a need to research demons and their mannerisms. He always assumed they were all things opposite of good. Evil, liars, cheats, beings who cause pain instead of joy, yet Yunho, for the most part, was making him rethink his preconceptions.

Yunho had yet to lie to him or cheat as far as he knew. He wasn’t being as evil as Jaejoong would have otherwise expected and he seemed truly bothered by the fact that he caused Jaejoong to feel anything other than content and comfortable.

Then there was the warmth. That beautiful, amazing warmth that happened every time their skin made contact. Jaejoong wanted to get drunk off it, bask in it every second of every day, it was that lovely. And he had a feeling that if he asked, Yunho would not deny him that gift.

But that wasn’t how demons acted.

Was it?

Perhaps it was or at the very least, there was much more to demons than what was known or taught.

Jaejoong didn’t think he would ever be in a position to learn that and yet, here he was.

He took another drink of his milk before setting the glass down and offering up and friendly smile. There was still the high probability that this was all a trick Jaejoong knew a sincere apology when he heard one. He couldn’t say things were okay because they weren’t and he wasn’t quite ready to forgive the man for all he had done but he was apologizing and if for nothing else, Jaejoong at least wanted the man to know that the gesture didn’t go unnoticed.

Besides, he was a good boy. And good boys always let people know when their acts of kindness, no matter how small, were appreciated

“Thank you.” Jaejoong said with a small smile.

Yunho smiled in return, content with the response. “You are very welcome.” He said kissing Jaejoong on the forehead.

The child sighed, wanting more of that heat but not knowing how to ask for it.

“Are you still hungry?”

Jaejoong popped open his eyes and looked out at the food around him. There was still so much left. “Aren’t you going to eat anything?” he asked.

Yunho hid a mischievous smirk behind his gantlet. “Maybe later.” He said taking a drink. “Perhaps when my hunger becomes too much to bare.”

Jaejoong had no idea what that meant therefore it went right over his little head. “That’s not very healthy.”

Yunho laughed and kissed his cheek. “You are too adorable.”

Jaejoong blushed and looked away. “C-can I have one of those pastries?” he asked pointing to a plate of sweet breads.

“You most certainly can.” Yunho cheered handing him that plate.

Jaejoong licked his lips taking a cheese flavored Danish one from the top. Neither male took note of the new comer to their little one sided feast.

“Are you not done playing domestic yet?”

Jaejoong turned to look at the speaker. He was just as tall as Yunho, probably taller, and impossibly just as handsome. But unlike Yunho he was not in all black and not covered in endless ink. The arms of his red top were rolled up and only one are arm was pained. The rest of him was oddly pale.

“Changmin.” Yunho greeted. “Angel, this is my brother, Changmin.”

Jaejoong looked between the two, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. They didn’t at all look like siblings. Did demons have siblings? Yoochun and Yoohwan were siblings but they were twins. “You have a brother?”

Yunho laughed and pet his head. “I have many brothers my angel. And several sisters too.”

“We’re about a century apart. Give or take a few decades.” Changmin added cynically.

Jaejoong turned away uncomfortable. “I don’t understand.”

“You will, let’s hope. Now if you will excuse me, my brother and I have much to discuss.”

“No we don’t.” Yunho said, eyes focused on Jaejoong as he nibbled on his sweet.

“Yes. We do. You will remember dear brother, there was more than one when Yoohwan retrieved your pet.”

Yunho closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath. Jaejoong noticed the quick change in his features yet again. From relaxed to rigid and from marry to miffed, Yunho became exactly what one might expect from a being of his breed and standing. And that sacred Jaejoong because as he already saw and heard before, Yunho was being oddly patient with him and even that was wearing thin.

It was only a matter of nonexistent time now. Jaejoong needed to find a way out and he needed to find it fast.

“Your point?” That irate man growled.

Changmin stood unimpressed. He was more than uses to the man’s anger by now. “Must I spell it out for you? Your perfect eternity will come to a fast halt if you don’t-”

“Enough!” Yunho roared rising to his feet.

Jaejoong whimpered.

Changmin rolled his eyes.

Yunho took another deep breath and righted his features. He flashed Jaejoong a strained smile. “Angel, you will have to excuse me for my brother is right. There are important matter to discuss. I apologize for cutting our breakfast short.”

“It’s been three hours.”

“Shut up.” Yunho hissed stomping out of the room.

Jaejoong blinked. He wanted to run but he also didn’t want to be left alone. Not here. “Wait!”

Yunho turned to face him.

“Wh-what am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”

Yunho smiled and strode towards him. Changmin rolled his eyes yet again. They did not have time for this.

Yunho took the boy by his chin, making him look up at him. “Whatever you wish my little love. You can remain here in the dining hall or retire to our bedroom if you so choose. Either or neither, when I am finished I will find you and your lessons will begin.” He pressed his lips to the child’s forehead and left.

“Don’t go wondering off too far now.”

“Leave.” Yunho told his brother. He stopped and turned his attention back to Jaejoong. “Angel.”

The child hadn’t looked away from him. That warmed Yunho’s nonexistent heart.

“My brother has a point love. It would be best if you remained within the castle walls.”

Jaejoong froze, scared that the man really could read his mind. “Wh..what do you mean?”

“You and I are not mated yet little one, therefore my magic will not be able to protect you should you choose to go through with whatever plans you might have for running away.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened.

Yunho smirked. “No, I can not read your mind my love. I am just very observant.” He chuckled. “But I do hope you will heed my words.” He added turning serious. “No matter how much you may dislike me, know that I am not the one to be feared in realm. I mean you no harm but I can not speak for everyone else. Do you understand?”

Jaejoong swallowed hard the rest of his Danish. “I-I understand.”

Yunho’s cold stare was once again replaced with his smile. “Good. I shall do my best to return to you soon.” He bid Jaejoong goodbye with a simple nod and exited the room.

“You really think he’s not going to try and escape.” Changmin half asked.

“Not at all.” Yunho said as they walked. “But with the castle as it is right now it will slow him down until I can trust him.”

“And how long do you propose that’ll take?”

“That is the beauty of being immortal brother.” Yunho said. He pressed his hand to a wall and stood aside as the brick and stone shifted away to revile another hallway. “Time is never of the essence.”

Changmin shook his head and followed the man through the passage way. “You really are sick. Worse than Hangeng was.”

Yunho laughed. “Jealous are we?”

“Never. Just fuck the kid and get your full sin already. The other angel he was with-”

“Junsu.” Yunho said through a clenched jaw.

Changmin raised a brow. “You know him?”

“Very well unfortunately. He has been a nuisance since I was a child. He has been watching over Jaejoong’s family for generations.”

“Then he’s looking for him.”

Yunho snorted as he stepped into his study. “Please. Junsu is centuries older than I. He knows what Jaejoong is.”

Changmin narrowed his eyes at his brother’s choice of words. “And you are choosing to do nothing because…”

“Because Junsu knows something that I do not. They do not have his soul but they were able to keep him hidden from me for six years. The second the boy died he should have come to me.” He sighed. “His memories should have awakened by now as well. He feels the pull as strongly as I do but he remembers nothing and I can not figure out why. I will need to meet with Hangeng. He knows more than I simply from experience.” He took a seat in his desk chair and folded his hands.

Changmin pinched his bridge in annoyance. “You are very wise Yunho. That’s why you are in the position you are in but-”

“Funny. And here I thought it was because I ran my hand through Chilhyun’s skull.” Yunho laughed.

Changmin gave up and fell into a chair. “You’ll forgive me if I do not have the utmost faith in you.”

Yunho chuckled and relaxed his seat. “Patients dear brother.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“True, but I do have a plan and a few backup plans. Jaejoong and I will be mated, I will reach my full sin, and all will be right with our realm.”

“And Junsu?”

Yunho sighed. “I am still working on that. And I will ask you this once to watch your tongue around the boy. Getting him to trust me will be hard enough and I do not wish to give him any more reason to hate me.”

“Well aren’t you a romantic.”

“I am trying.”

“You’re wasting time.”

“I am immortal.”

“Who could be taken out at any second. You of all people should know that.”

Yunho sighed. His brother was right. Demons lived forever but that did not mean that there were not ways to disrupt that existence. And if he wasn’t careful. Jaejoong would be it.

Changmin lauled his head and glanced around the room. “What are you gonna do with the rest of them?”

Yunho raised a brow. “Who?”

Changmin sighed and rose to his feet. He ran his finger along a row of books on Yunho’s bookshelf until he found the right one. When he did, he pressed three fingers to its spin and watched as yet another chamber opened up.

Yunho stood to the side of brother. “Oh right. They completely slipped my mind.” He said looking into the room.

Or dungeon rather.

The floor was covered in blood and cum and excrements. Rows upon rows of soul strung up of the walls and strapped to the ground; some with all their limbs intact, others not so lucky. Each was moaning in agony, begging for mercy. A few mumbled incoherent words of forgiveness while most choked around their gages for a few sweet breaths. None were free and none were spared of the torture Yunho put them through.

 The demon took a deep breath and sighed contently at the putrid smell of sex and copper.

“Well?” Changmin asked.

Yunho hummed in thought. “See any you like?”

“You’re sharing?” Changmin questioned astonished.

“I have Jaejoong now. These are no longer of any use to me.” He said walking away. “Do put the toys away when you are done though. I plan on using them again soon.”

Changmin laughed as he pick up a male with missing eyes. He shoved his hand up his torn opening and fished around for the vibrating bullets Yunho placed inside him. “You and your earth toys.”

“So much had changed in such little time brother. The mortal are growing more free and I could not be more proud if I tried.” He laughed. “Would you like me to send Yoochun up to join you?”

“Hm, the child is making you soft.” Changmin mused as he shoved his cock into the poor thing’s already full and bleeding ass. “I will take you up on that offer though. It’s been awhile since we’ve really had any time together.”

Yunho nodded and left the room.

 

 


	3. Life is very simple little angel but death, that’s where things get complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know I’m using Nephilim incorrectly but just go with it, okay. Enjoy,

_\-- 24 years ago--_

“She’s got your eyes.”

“Well she has your ears.”

“It looks like a bean.”

“Sungchul don’t talk about your baby sister like that.”

Junsu smiled affectedly at the happy family cooing and fawning over the tiny baby nestled safely in her mother’s arms. The sleepy newborn made an incoherent sound of possible pleasure, delighting both parents and making her eight-year-old brother impossibly more curious of the new and wrinkly little creature. Junsu laughed and put a quick blessing on the family before continuing his rounds in the hospital’s maternity ward.

Hospitals were always riddled with angels. It was a heavily trafficked area what with souls consistently departing and entering. Guardians were not required to oversee the birth and death of humans but Junsu was not your average guardian. He liked to be there for the families he watched over no matter how sad or joyous the occasion but unlike death angels, he was not so apathetic to loss. It always saddened him, ever so slightly, when a human he spent his days loving and tending to depart this world for the next. Humans were not immortal, however souls were. Somehow, somewhere they would continue on and it was perhaps that which saddened Junsu the most for he could never predict how exactly or where to they went.

That was the dark and twisted beauty.

Free will. The power to choose one's path despite the outcome and many forces wishing otherwise.

The angel had a hard time with the concept. He simply could not wrap his head around it. If there was a way to save souls, and there was, then why not enact it? Free will be damned. Free will was what caused some to abandon all that they knew to be right in favor of wrong. Free will was the reason so many suffered at the hands of wicked demons and darkness. Free will was the reason why Junsu, and many other guardians, were forced to abandon the humans they treasured and cared for from infancy.

You can’t protect that which does not believe in you.

That’s why Junsu like the maternity ward so much. Babies were still pure and innocent; untouched by man and his doubt. Even the rest of the family turned their back on him he’d still be there for the little ones right until that every last inkling of faith vanished. Admittedly, he would like to prevent said inevitable day but such was considered a form of control and interfereing with human life fell under the very long list of things angels were not allowed to do. They were to provide comfort and options, not alter a situation to their liking.

That would lose you your wings.

After one or two more check-ins and a few hellos to fellow angles, Junsu soundlessly stepped inside the nursery and patiently waited for the nurse on duty to finish up her work. The last thing the young 30 something needed was a heart attack from seeing a floating baby due to her inability to see him. Angles learned the hard way eons ago that whether seen or not, their presence wasn’t always a welcomed one. After being misinterpreted one too many times, they found it was much easier to have a permeant glamor on at all times. There were occasions where very young children were able to see through their invisible shield but such occurrences were happening less and less these days. As it was, it had been nearly five decades since Junsu was last spotted.

When the woman finally left, he smiled and headed for the only incubator in the room, the owner of which belonging to a family that had yet to lose faith in him.

“Hi Jaejoong.” He whispered to the sleeping preemie inside.

As if sensing the angel’s presence, Jaejoong shifted in his cramp confines and let out a tiny whimper of distress.

Junsu chuckled softly to himself. This was their usual greeting. “I know baby, I know.” He reassured, opening the incubator and taking Jaejoong into his arms. “I don’t like you being here very much either but you’ll go home very soon. I promise.”

The tiny preemie opened a sleepy eye before settling in Junsu’s warm embrace.

The immortal laughed again before taking a seat in one of the rocking chairs in the serene room. “How are you feeling today little one?” He politely asked.

Jaejoong made a sound in his throat that the angel had learned to interpret from centuries of experience.

“That’s good.” He replied, rocking them softly. “Your mommy was very worried about you this morning but she’s always worried so that’s nothing new.” He lightheartedly joked. “She’ll come by to visit you when she gets off of work. Until then, you’re stuck with me.” He teased.

Jaejoong looked at him curiously before cracking a toothless grin and emitting a bubble of a laugh.

Junsu smiled, relishing in the pure sound. “Oh, Jaejoong. I weep for the day that smile fades and unfortunately it will.” He said solemnly. “There will come a day when you may resent this life and even me in a way, but that time won’t last. I promise.”

 

 

Jaejoong lopped his oversized head away from Junsu, seemingly staring at nothing as babies often did. Junsu paid no mind to it and instead brought the child closer to where his heart would be if he were human.

“May your days always be filled with laughter little one. May your joy outshine your tears and smiles surpass any sorrows. You will struggle but you will never be alone for love will always be with you. That is my blessing onto you.” He vowed as a slight glow engulfed the child. “Keep it in your heart little baby, for it will follow you for the rest of your days and on the rare nights I won’t be with you.”

“Awe, how sweet.”

Junsu’s head shot up and toward the intruder. The peaceful calm he brought into the room earlier dissipated as his eyes narrowed and defenses grew. “You are not welcome here.” He seethed.

“Au contraire my old friend.” Yunho tisked. “Here is but one of the few places in all the realms where my presence is just as much requested as yours. Funny how that works.”

“We are not friends.” The angel said through gritted teeth.

The demon raised a bow. “Someone can certainly hold a grudge.” He said nonchalantly. “And here I thought your kind had a rule against that sort of thing. Honestly Junsu, it was nothing personal. I can not help what I am just as you can not help who you are. And let us be honest for a moment, white really does not bear well with my style.”

“Leave.”

Yunho rolled his eyes from where he leaned against the wall. “Simmer down ole boy. I am here on business remember?”

“In a nursery?” Junsu accused.

Yunho sighed. “Unfortunately. They are of no use to me at this stage, hence why I let you and the other birds handle them.” He said peering over at the various distressed children.

“Let us?”

He held up a hand and continued on. “But not even the innocent are spared from pain and hardship. It is enoght to make even the most faithful desperate for something a little more certain.” He stopped by a crib and raised his other hand. A wisp of smoke and darkness left his hand and circled around the in pain child.

“Stay away from him!” Junsu shouted rising to his feet, a wave of fury and protection emitting from him.

Yunho stood unfazed as the alchemy went right over his head.  He rolled his eyes as he dropped his hand canceling the spell. It was pointless anyways. Not even he controlled when people died. “There a problem?”

Sheets and papers and bottles began to rise as Junsu fought to control his temper. He despised Yunho more than any other creature in all the realms. He could take him, he knew that, but the safety of the upset children was his first priority. “In this space, your presence is not needed nor requested.”

“Debatable.”

“ ** _I_** will only ask you one more time. Exit before I force you and we both know that if I do I will win.”

Yunho raised an eyebrow at the fuming being before him. Petty words such as powerful and strong didn’t even begin to descry what he, a demon and ruler of sin, was capable of. Few beings could match him. Far less could best him.

Junsu, unfortunately, fell into the latter.

Though tempting, Yunho was not so foolish to pick a fight just to watch the world burn, and against an angel four centuries his senior no less. Perhaps in his realm, he would have stood a chance but on a leveled playing field like Earth, a few choice words were really all he could combat with. Experience tough him that much.

“You are one fussy being of light you know that?” He said standing tall. “Well I would love to stay and catch up, really, but I must get going. The things people say on their death beds am I right.” He laughed.

Junsu was not amused.

“Take care old friend.” He said with a cordial bow. He made his way to the exit but stopped short, his steps not able to carry him forward.

Something pulled at him and it was strong.

He was locked in place, caught between a tug at his aura and barrier of his physical form, commanding him to stay. What sorcery was the angel pulling? Didn’t he just demand him gone? It was maddening. But then it was warm. Very warm.

Warmth was not something well understood by demons. They could experience temperature change but without a soul they could never know warmth. Yunho felt it, once, ironically at the exact moment he “died” which was an odd event for a plethora of reasons he did feel it. And it was beautiful. He’d never forget it.

This was ten times that. His insides felt like fire and his head light. He smell honey and sugar instead of alcohol and death. Colors became softer and the world impossibly smaller. And if he closed his eyes, which he did, he could almost hear the most beautiful sound his ears had ever heard.

And it was laughing.

Not at him. Just, laughing.

In all his moons he’d never felt anything like. There were stories of it sure, but it was believed to be a myth among his kind. A myth some said was real other called hogwash. He himself had fantasized about it once or twice but never would he speak of it. Yet there it was, reaching out to him.

Oh how he wanted to reach back.

He turned around, for what else could he do, and looked towards the direction of the pull. There was nothing but a window, an angel, and tiny infant with large brown eyes curled up in the man’s arms.

His own dark eyes narrowed as he analyzed the child. The thing was so small and pale, even for a premature birth. It couldn’t be what he thought it was. Could it? Such things didn’t make it to term, even with modern medicine. They had a habit of killing their host as they struggled to grow from poison and ash. It just wasn’t possible.

Then again, this one had a guardian watching over him.

A smile began its decent on his bow lips as the warmth continued to spread and radiate within him. A feather like touch kissed his cheek and like that, the feeling was gone.

And he was back to where he was, back to who he was, moments ago.

Yunho locked eyes with the unaware child and cracked a toothy smirk. He owed the angel a million thanks and the poor fool didn’t even know it. “Cute kid.” He commented before officially making his leave.

He be back later. All he had to do was follow the warmth.

Junsu let out a relaxed sigh once he could no longer sense the demon near. He peered down at peaceful Jaejoong with worried eyes. Children, as their souls had yet to be clouded by skepticism and distrust, could feel the presence of demons on par with that of rookie angels. They often looked scared, sought shelter, and, like all the infants in the nursery, cried out not knowing what else to do. The only tearless cheeks in the room belong to Junsu and the baby in his arms. Two beings with nothing to fear.

He looked down at Jaejoong confused.

Then realization.

Then dread.

“Heaven helps us.”

\--

\--

\--

 

 

\--Now--

 

Jaejoong sighed as he stared up at the canopy above him. Like everything else in the castle, it was ornate and lavish. The fibers of the silk bedding were so red they bled black. The carvings in the wood were intricate and storytelling. Even the tray that sat on the night stand next to him with a pitcher of water and tiny cakes should he find himself hungry, was horrifically beautiful. Once upon a time Jaejoong dreamed about living in a castle. This wasn’t what he has in mind.

Or perhaps it was but somewhere along the line the story got messed up jumbled. Like water spilling on the page distorting the letters, this fairy tale was twisted and maimed.

Horror and beauty, love and disgust, did not belong together. They could hardly be called opposites but for some reason, here, they lived in complete harmony. It made no sense yet, the more Jaejoong laid there, swing his feet, getting lost in his thoughts, he found himself appreciating it. And in turn, without warning, a sort of strange calm enveloped him until he was suffocating, counting his final breaths like an insomniac did sheep.

Much like earth, there was a balance here. Chaos and discord ruled and reigned with an iron fist but peace and serenity were just as prominent. And it wasn’t in the sights and sounds or even the smell that no longer made him ill. It was in the feeling. Simply being there made Jaejoong feel in ways he hadn’t since he was a small boy on earth visiting the playground with his mother. It was a feeling he never thought he would experience again yet the sensations were unmistakable.

In this way, among many others, Hell was the complete opposite of Heaven. There comfort was wrapped around you like a cocoon; forced upon you and shoved in your face until the realization of your death was normalized. It made sense and in many ways Jaejoong preferred it. He liked living in a bubble; a perfect little world undisturbed by the hashes reality.

No such thing would happen where he resided now. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no clever trick to unfold. No curtain to pull back nor Easter eggs to be found. Everything was as it was in Hell. Gore, sadness, beauty and all.

And yet, even so, Jaejoong still felt like he was being coddled by a warm hand after a particularly bad nightmare. Complete with a warm glass of milk and a lullaby to lull him back to sleep

How funny. Here he was in a demon prince’s bed and yet never had he felt more at peace in his 18 plus six years of life than right now.

He’d laugh if it wasn’t so sad.

“I need water.” He said sitting up. He stumbled his way across the bed over to where a pitcher and glass sat. He poured himself a glass and took a long drink. It didn’t taste like anything, just water. Which was what he expected. But then again that could be Yunho’s drugs talking.

He set the glass aside and looked out the large casement windows the replaced nearly half a wall. The red orb was high in the cloudless sky, illuminating the dead and bereaved world blow. It was a sad landscape with bare trees, empty skies, and forgotten dreams scattered about. Such the opposite what he had grown accustomed to waking up to.

A tiny smile graced his lips as he remembered the view from his home in Heaven.

Nothing but sunshine and flowers from his tiny cottage window. Families and lovers would go on picnics by the river while children flew kites in the sky. It was like something out of a Beatrix Potter painting if the famous writer ever picked up a brush.

There were endless game for him to play, random parties he could attend, and countless boys and girls his age that were all too happy to include him in on their fun. Once or twice it made him sad thinking about all the children that had gone before their parents or the babies that crawled around the nursery never to grow old but he never voiced it. Once he did. Junsu’s response was in time he would see his family again. It wasn’t at all an answer to what he had asked but it was nice to know.

Moving in a trance like state, Jaejoong stood and walked towards the hypnotizing window. He traced the criss-cross lines on the glass with a finger. It was cool to the touch which surprised him for some reason. Condensation even formed around where his warm hand laid. There was no such thing as cold in Heaven. Only warmth.

And Jaejoong loved being warm.

How could he give that up?

How could he so quickly and easily give up?

Finding his courage and summoning his last bit of faith, he raced to the side of the bed to retrieve his sandals. They wouldn’t do him much good with what he was about to do but they were the only thing he had that fit him.

Next, he ran around the room looking for something to cover his wings. A black throw laying over the side on an ottoman caught his eye. He secured it with a pin he found on the dresser.

Once done, he tore the black curtains down from the pretty windows and tied them together. The other end he attached to the sturdy bed post. He took a deep breath, a failed attempt at calming his adrenaline and unlatched the window, happy it wasn’t locked.

He pushed it open. Cool wind whipped his face causing his bangs to cover his eyes, blinding him. The arid air burned his lungs and made him shiver through the blanket. Was there a breeze before? All he could remember was hot, stale air.

Whatever. It didn’t matter anymore and he didn’t have time to think more on it. He threw the tied curtains out the window and watched as they fell down the side of the castle. He’d pray that there were no windows below where he was but he didn’t think the request would reach anyone.

He looked over the side. The drop was much farther than he was expecting and the curtains were short.

“Crap.” He cursed as he pulled the fabric back up.

He looked around the room. He needed more length but how? And with what? His makeshift cloak also wouldn’t do. It was too short and lacked a hood to cover his head. He could manage with his legs showing but an exposed head would make him stick out like a sore thumb.

“What am I doing?” He whispered to himself, his body going limp and hope deflating. He sank to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest, a few tears cascading down his pale cheeks.

What was he thinking? He couldn’t escape. Even with a way out and better camouflage where would he go? It wasn’t like he had a map back to Heaven. He wouldn't make it. He’d literally just be running around Hell and who knows what’s out there. At least in the castle, Yunho wouldn’t let anything happen to him. It wasn’t much but it was the only sure thing Jaejoong had.

Yunho had even been “kind enough” to warn him what would happen if he did manage to make it outside. Just more proof that the demon had done this before and surely Jaejoong wouldn’t be his last.  He was probably out scouting his next victim now.

Something about that hurt Jaejoong, but he didn’t know why.

But that was the truth wasn’t it? Jaejoong was just a pawn in Yunho’s game; a living toy for him to play with until he board and moved on to something else. No matter what he felt, no matter how oddly painful it was to admit, he had to remember that. Yunho may be a prince but he wasn’t a fair prince and Jaejoong most definitely wasn’t the sweet maiden soon to be bride.

And mate? As if demons even knew the meaning of the word.

No, he couldn’t give up, not yet. Not when there was still some inkling of a chance out there somewhere in the distance. Maybe he would die out there, maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe someone was coming to rescue him, maybe they weren’t. The odd weren’t in his favor but he rather take a chance and regain normality than suffer for eternity.

Rising to his feet, he walked over to Yunho’s dresser. Pulling open the drawers, he rummaged through them desperate to find some clothes that might fit him. He quickly stopped after opening one too many containing penial shaped objects he’d rather not see again.

He moved to the wardrobe next, hoping to fair better there. In it he found suits and shoes and dress coats and more. A small smile graced his lips as he celebrated the tiny victory. He pulled out a pair of pants, the most subtle overcoat with a hood he could find, and a sleek black pair of gloves. Covering his wings wouldn’t do much good if everyone thought he was Yunho. He was going for inconspicuous, not authoritative.

He rolled up the pant legs so he wouldn’t trip and pulled on the coat. It was big but that was the point.

In one swift movement, he stripped the bed of its sheets and tied them together. He undid the knot he made at the bedpost, added his makeshift extension, and redid the knot.

 _Please let this work_ , he thought as ran to the window to throw the execs out.

He waited for a thump. It never came. He peered over the side but couldn’t really see much. He had no way of knowing if it worked or not. Taking a chance and running for his freedom wouldn’t mean much if he fell to his death. Well, maybe not death as he was already dead but he could feel pain again and in a way that was far less comforting.

Perhaps he should rethink this. It wasn’t like he was particularly strong and he would need to be if he were to successfully climb down. And what if something were waiting at the bottom for him? What if there was a demon at the other end just waiting to swallow him whole. No, this was stupid. There had to be another way, there just had to be.

But there wasn’t, and he knew that.

He sighed and rested his hands on the window ceil. What happened to all the courage he had moments ago? He was going to run into the unknown, damn the risk, and find a way back to heaven or at least Earth. (He was willing to settle for Earth at this point). Now he was frozen. And not because he was scared of what was out there as he tried to convince himself was the case, but rather for a reason he couldn’t even partway understand.

And truthfully, he didn’t want to. Because if he never understood, what was there to be hurt by?

Shutting off his mind and ignoring his heart, he slid on the soft pair of gloves, took a hold of the sheet, and jumped.

Cold wind whipped his face as he slid the bottom. The wind hollowed in his ears, cut his nose, and burned his shut eyes. He hadn’t realized how far the drop was but before he could form another thought his “rope” ran out.

His eyes shot open in a panic. “No, no, noo!” He begged, reaching and scrambling for something to hold on to.

But there was nothing.

Not a vine nor terrace or inked hand to save him.

This really would be his e- **THUMP!**

“Ow.” Jaejoong groaned as he rolled to his side from where he landed on his back. He ripped off the ruined gloves and held his sore head. He looked up.

Two, no three meters up, the end of his means of escape flowed wistfully in the wind. It wasn’t that far of a drop but considering how he didn’t know that, it was still scary.

He stood and brushed off the dirt and dead grass that clung to Yunho’s wool coat and trousers. He winced as he adjusted the coat and pulled up its hood. He really wanted to check his wings but resisted the urge. One was broken or sprained for sure. It was possible. Back in Heaven, Junsu would constantly reprimand him for not being careful with them. Wings on angels were powerful and capable. His were delicate and for show more than anything.

But there was no time for reminiscing. He needed to get moving before Yunho noticed he was gone.

 _But where do I go?_ He thought as he looked out into the barren wasteland of hell. _What now?_

With some difficulty due to the bulky clothing, he got on his feet (ignoring the pain in his ankle) and began walking. He figured if he kept the sun ahead of him it would get him somewhere.

Right?

Again he’d send a prayer but who was listening.

 

 

Jaejoong collapsed against a tree as he failed to catch his breath. He’d been walking for…god he had no way of knowing but when he started the sun was lot higher in the sky then it was now.

“Crap.” He cursed. He was tired, hungry, walking on a swollen ankle and clipped wing, and he was freezing despite wearing such a thick coat and long pants. Now the sun was setting and he had no shelter to take refuge in or keep him safe until morning. This was by far the stupidest thing he had ever done.

He slid to knees and rested his head against the trunk. Maybe he could stay here for the night. He had passed quite a few demons and souls as he traveled and no one had bothered him yet. That was a good sign right?

“You look lost.”

Jaejoong froze. He spoke to soon.

Not moving his head in fear of being recognized, he shifted his eyes towards the direction of the high pitched voice.

Penny loafers.

He looked up surprised. It was the girl from the other day. The one with half a face, except now her face was whole. And very pretty he might add.

Her uniform was pressed, the blood stains gone, and her hair was neatly brushed with a single clip keeping one side back. If Jaejoong didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a completely different girl.

But it wasn’t. He was sure of it.

“Are you lost? I can help.” She said brightly.

Jaejoong was stunned into silence. She was being nice. But why?

The souls that landed in hell weren’t nice. They could hardly even be called souls in his opinion. To be here one must have been a pretty awful human with little to no redeeming qualities. That’s what he learned in Sunday school. (It was a rare day in which the noise, or Yunho, wasn’t too deafening.)

Jaejoong eyed the girl suspiciously. Her smile looked genuine but something was off. Come to think of it, why did she look so different? Souls didn’t have a glamor to mask their true form. They couldn’t change their appearance at will like angels and demons. There was always the possibility that Jaejoong didn’t see what he thought he saw but he doubt that. He wasn’t that distracted by his situation and she stood out enough that he recognized her now. So what was going on? She was a soul.

Wasn’t she?

Did it really matter at this point?

He adjusted the hood to cover more of his face and turned away from her. “I’m fine.” He said, doing his best to mask his voice.

“Really? Because you look lost. I can help. Honest!” The girl nearly exclaimed.

In the distance, Jaejoong noticed a two horned figure staring in his direction. He checked behind but from where he sat it was only he and the girl. Maybe they were looking at her. Maybe he needed to calm down and stop being so paranoid. Just because it was looking in his direction didn’t mean it looking at him.

Right?

Just to be safe, he shrank into himself in a sad attempt to make himself less noticeable. Even if it did work, the girl was still there. Babbling on.

“I know all about this place. I can help you, really.”

There was another figure now. Jaejoong squinted his eyes. Was it…pointing? His eyes widened in fear. Whether on purpose or not, the girl was drawing attention to him. He needed to get rid of her and he needed to find a place to hide, fast.

“Please go away.” He tried. “I don’t need any help.”

“Are you sure? Cause this place can get awful confusing and at night you can’t see anything.”

Another demon. He could tell they were demons now. That meant they were getting closer. That wasn’t good.

“Stop it. Can’t you see what you’re doing?” He pleaded, looking between her and the approaching demons.

“Doing what?”

There were four of them now and they weren’t that far anymore. This was bad, very bad. Did he run? No, that would give him away and considering his ankle he wouldn’t get very far. But he couldn’t just stay where he was. There was no telling what those things wanted with him.

“Oi, Yerin. Who’s your friend?”

Screw it, he was running.

“I-I just remembered.” He said rising to his feet. “I have to be somewhere.”

“Wait! My friends can help too.” She graded the back of his coat and pulled as he moved forward.

She was stronger than she looked.

Off popped the buttons of the coat, down went his hood, and away was his only means of disguise.

He looked back at the grinning girl in horror.

She smiled. “I knew you were lost.”

“You did this on purpose!” He accused childishly.

Yerin laughed loud and cruelly. “Well duh.”

“But why?!”

“Because it’s fun! And now you’re gonna wish you never left your fluffy little clouds angel.”

Jaejoong felt his eyes water as he stared at the cackling girl. He should have never left the castle. No, he should have never left Heaven. Better yet he shouldn’t have woken up late that day six years ago! Then his family wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to get to church on time and his father wouldn’t have been speeding and he would have seen that patch of ice and they wouldn’t have sped out of control and that truck wouldn’t have hit him and he’d still be with his family and nowhere near this horrible mess at all!

Why was he always so careless? Why was he so stupid?

In an instant she was at his side, smiling brighter that before. She kissed his cheek. “Now is the part where you run.”

And run he did.

Ignoring his pain, forgetting his exhaustion, Jaejoong ran and he ran fast.

But to where?

Where could he go?

Hell was nothing short of a barren waste land with wide open landscapes of death and nothingness; a desert without and oasis or cacti in sight. The few standing trees weren’t wide or full enough for him to hide behind, there were no bushes on the ground for him to duck into. There was nowhere for him to go; nowhere to take refuge in and for that reason Jaejoong didn’t dare stop. He didn’t glance back and he didn’t reconsider his options. He just kept running.

And running.

And running.

And running.

He ran despite his eyes tearing up and the images before him fog and blur. He ran despite his injuries, his clipped wing bragging behind, and his sprained ankle begging him to stop. He ran despite his lungs growing tired making the simple act of breathing painful to do. And if it weren’t for the too long pant legs slipping and slowing him down, eventually causing him to trip, stumble and fall, he’d be running still, despite having no destination at all.

Jaejoong slammed face first into the ground feeling the wind get knocked out of him. Dirt and debris mixed with his oxygen, blocking his airway. He struggled to get to his feet, propping himself up on unsteady arms and shaky legs, until a powerful force pulled him up by his collar and slammed him into the trunk of a tree. He’d cry out from shock and pain if weren’t for the clawed red hand ringing his neck, keeping him firmly in place.

The demons around him laughed, or sneered rather, as he struggled to break free. A punch was thrown at his side followed by another, and another, and another until he stopped struggling and accepted his fate. The claw around his neck tightened just enough to where he could breathe but not comfortably and the sound they made, dear God the sounds. It was a hiss crossed with a growl. It made Jaejoong’s skin crawl more than it already was.

“Ah.” He winced as another, a crimson one with dark symbols on its body, pinched and played with is bloodied feathers.

“Fuck they’re real!” The one plucking feathers shouted.

“Of course their real. Look at his face and robes.” The leader of the bunch assured. Or rather Jaejoong guessed he was the leader based on how he stood and spoke.

He was tall and well-built with a surprisingly attractive face and human like features and he was clothed. Fully. With a shirt and shoes and all. It could have just been his glamor but what was the point of keeping one up in hell? This, was how the thing looked, which scared Jaejoong for a whole new reason. How many demons walked the earth looking just like this one?

“AH!” He cried, when the things pinched his cheeks and made him face forward.

“You’re a far way from home aren’t you angel?” The demon mocked with a toothy grin.

Jaejoong whimper as the creature ran a finger along his jaw. “P-please.” He stuttered. “Don’t hurt me.”

They all throw their heads back and laughed.

“Hurt you?” The leader repeated. “Oh were going to do a lot more than that little angel.” He released Jaejoong and stepped back. “See whoever the current ruler is, that’s what sin takes over. You’re probably not old enough to remember the Chilhyun days but that’s where your little book gets our image from.” He explained.

Jaejoong gulped. The thing sounded so much like Yunho yet at the same time not. He didn’t like it and he didn’t like how cold he was getting either. Why was there a constant change in temperature? It seemed like every hour it dropped several degrees. “Why are you telling me th-” He coughed the last word out as he air way was blocked.

“Thank you Doojoon.” He told the one strangling him. “Now where was I? Ah yes, back then we would have let you go minus a missing limb or slit throat. But under Yunho,” It sneered. They all did. “This Lord is of a different sin and as a result we want more.”

Jaejoong stared at the four beings, more confused than scarred. Just what did these things want with him?

“Hehe who gets him firs- I mean, after you Sangwoo?” The Doojoon asked.

“Who says we have to take turns. He’s two holes. We’ll make it work.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened as realization set it. He didn’t need to understand the demons story or know who Chilhyun was. He knew who Yunho. The prince of hell and ruler of lust.

“Wait! You can’t! Stop!” He screamed as his clothes were ripped from him.

There was that cold wind again. It chilled him to the bone and sliced his exposed skin like a whipped. His pale skin almost glowing like a beacon should anyone choose to come to his rescue.

But no one was coming. Hadn’t he realized that yet?

He watched as his precious robs fell to the ground in pieces like dirty snow, just like he was about to become. Dirty snow. Stepped on by muddy shoes, mixing with the filth and blood. Had he not left the castle…well wouldn’t that have just be prolonging the inevitable?

Preserving himself, saving himself for marriage, to a good Christian GIRL, was important to him. Ingrained in him from the time he could walk. He believed in it, believed in treasuring his body and only giving it away on his wedding night to the GIRL he loved. This was not how it was supposed to be. And the only reason Jaejoong thought of this now was the growing warmth within him.

Wasn’t he cold just seconds ago?

“Please don’t do this.” He begged again, knowing it would do nothing to deter them. But he needed to voice his refusal. He needed to convince himself and the warmth, he didn’t want this. “Please. Stop.”

He was in a new position now. The one that had his neck was now behind him. Binding his arm in a vice grip should he be foolish enough to try and break free. He gasped feeling a white pain stab his back.

“In case you get any ideas,” The demon whispered in his ear, “I’ll rip your wings right out.”

Tears cascaded down the boys dirtied cheeks. _Stop, stop,_ he kept chanting. Something about the word kept him scene and took his mind of the warmth. But it was so nice. Couldn’t he give into it for a second or two?

The other two took a leg and held him open; bare and necked for all to see. He expected cool air but no, just warmth. More beautiful, sickening, stomach turning warmth. He took a moment to be disgusted with himself.

“Just look as his skin. It’s so pale and perfect. I can’t wait to slice it open.”

Jaejoong looked away ashamed as then ran their claws and hands over his flesh. Pinching his nipples, scratching his sides, touching his cock, and licking every inch they could. The boy was horrified, disgusted with the acts being performed on him. But he was still warm and it was now he could finally contribute the warmth to arousal. Why was he felling this way? How could his body betray his heart and mind so?

“What’s this? This can’t be your cock can it?” Sangwoo commented. “Haha I was gonna get rid of it since you won’t be needing it anymore but it’s so small there’s almost no point.”

They all laughed at their leaders joke.

Jaejoong wept not knowing what else to do. He had never been so violated in his life. Not since meeting-

“Wait!” Jaejoong screamed.

“Oh for fucks sake. Someone put a dick in his mouth.”

“I belong to Prince Yunho!” He said quickly.

This made them pause. They looked at their leader.

Sangwoo narrowed his eyes. He laugh nervously. “Yeah right. As if we would believe that.”

“It’s true!” Jaejoong tired in a desperate attempt to save himself. “I’m his mate and-and if you,” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words. “Touch me, you’ll be sorry.”

Sangwoo laughed again and held Jaejoong’s cock in a vice grip making the boy gasp in pain. “Haha I’m already touching you angel”

Jaejoong bit his lip. He need to get them to believe him. “It’s true. Yoowhan found me. He brought me here!”

“Shut up!” One holding his leg said. “Let’s just fuck him already.”

Jaejoong tried again. “I’m serious! Just think what the price will do once he finds out what you did to me.”

Pause.

“I did see them take someone new to the castle.” Doojoon said. “What if he’s telling the truth?”

“And what if he’s just another escaped concubine?”

“Angels don’t lie.” The third finally spoke.

“And they aren’t Nephilims either. Get a grip Yoonbum?”

“Why else would the prince have him?”

“To fuck him, like we should be doing right now!” Sangwoo shouted enraged. Without warning his shove three fingers deep into Jaejoong’s unprepared whole.

Jaejoong went rigged. An icy burn race through his veins from head to two. He never knew such pain. Never wanted to either. He screamed, gagging on his own bile as the soulless being forced him open with piercing fingers and tar like spit.

“Fuck.” Sangwoo sighed. “I can see why the prince would want you.” He said getting his own cock ready as he fingered the boy. “Are all angels tight like you?”

“Finally.” The dark one holding his leg exclaimed. Jaejoong didn’t catch its name, not that that mattered. He stood up and straddled Jaejoong, his own cock hanging hard and heavy. “Say aww pretty angel.” He grinned.

Jaejoong blinked, his vison incredibly foggy. He was so warm. Warm like when he was on earth and fell running on the playground. Warm like the times he would sit alone at lunch because he was too shy to make friends. All those times, before, during, and after, that otherwise would have been sad or disheartening, Jaejoong was warm. But back then it wasn’t arousal, it was just…nice. It made him feel safe, wanted, loved. He was so rarely sad as a child because the warmth, never allowed him too. The day it disappeared was the day the noise stated. But the noise was because of Yunho. And if the noise was of demons then that meant the warmth was an angel right?

That meant an angel was nearby right?

He was going to be saved!

But why wasn’t he saved in the castle?

He was warm there too.

“AHH!” Jaejoong cried as the creature above him gripped his hair. It dug its claws deep and made his scalp bleed.

“Come on slut. I said say aww!”

Jaejoong closed his eyes accepting his fate. Help was on the way and would it really be so bad? No, it wouldn’t. The warmth would see him through it. It always did.

In an instant, his cheek and tongue were hit with a warm fluid. It tasted coppery; irony even. Not at all what he was expecting. He didn’t know what to expect as with all things sexual but this, it tasted more like blood if anything.

He heard coughing above him and soon more of the fluid fell on him. His chest and chin this time.

Jaejoong open his eyes confused. He immediately wished he hadn’t.

There stood the demon. His dick was still out and fist still tangled in his blond locks but that wasn’t was petrified Jaejoong and hushed the other three. No. It was the inked hand sticking out of his abdomen that silenced the realm. And may the Heave’s protect who ever dare to disrupt it.

The demon’s limp body was cast aside like an old rag or unsightly presence and in its place stood Yunho. Regal as ever, wiping away blood and flesh from his hand nonchalantly with a gold and red handkerchief, as if it were an almost daily thing for him.

And in many ways it was.

“I thought I told you not to run.” Yunho said locking eyes with Jaejoong.

The little angel stared at his savior, unsure whether to scream in terror or rejoice in glee. He settled for neither. That seemed like the wisest option at this point.

Suddenly he felt himself drop, literally. Doojoon was making a run for it. Jaejoong looked on at the fleeing demon, wishing he could do the same. He knew he couldn’t. Not again. He could never run again.

Yunho rolled his eyes. Without a word he raised his hand, open and palm up. The ground began to shake violently. Jaejoong watched horrified as its surface split, opening a door to what he did not know laid beneath the land. Bones with hanging flesh, skulls with missing eyes. Screaming, crying, laughing. They were souls. The damned souls of hell, and Doojoon now belonged to them.

When Yunho made a fist the pit closed up. He dropped his hand like nothing happened and looked at the other two. “Would anyone else care to give it a try?”

The two demons fell to their knees.

“Please my lord.” Yoonbum begged. “We did not know. If we did, we would have returned him to you. You have our word.”

Yunho snapped his fingers setting the begging demon a blaze.

He screamed and screamed, begging for mercy and offering up his nonexistent soul. Jaejoong felt tears come to his eyes. He’d laughed if he wasn’t so frightened. This creature, this thing, had held him down and violated him in the worst way and yet here he was, crying on his behalf knowing no matter how much he rolled around or begged for help, the flames would burn on. And it was all his fault. He shut his eyes repulsed. This was not the kind of help he wanted. This was wrong. This was evil!

 “Sangwoo.” Yunho smiled. “It is your turn. And you should note I am only allowing your existence to continue longer than the others because I somewhat like you.”

Sangwoo didn’t even glace at his former companion. “My Lord, you have my word. On my existence and on my honor as one of your most faithful men I did not know he was yours, truly.”

Yunho looked from him to Jaejoong huddled in the fetal position, covering his ears.

 “Jaejoongie,” Yunho said affectionately.

Jaejoong didn’t respond. He kept rocking back and forth wishing for it all to be over soon. _This is a dream,_ he told himself. _I’m dreaming, I have to be dreaming! Dear God please let me wake up._

“Joongie.”

The boy visibly flinched away from the man smiling at him. Smiling, can you believe that? This twisted murderer was smiling at him. Oh this was sick, very sick. So sick in fact Jaejoong could feel bile and what was left of breakfast rising in his throat.

“Did you at any time mention that you are my mate?” Yunho asked calmly. He was aware of the turmoil swimming with in the little angel but he felt it well deserved. This could have been avoided after all. Perhaps now Jaejoong would learn to listen to him.

And like a dam breaking, Jaejoong was overcome by a waterfall of emotions he never learned to handle. He didn’t like seeing people get hurt. Not even bad people. Not even Choi Siwon who stole his spot in the church choir by telling Jaejoong the auditions were Thursday when they were actually Wednesday. Or Donghee who would push him off the swings at recess and-

Oh god.

Oh god!

Bad things _did_ happened to those boys. Bad things happened to everyone who did ill by him, almost imminently. Siwon got strep throat and couldn’t sing for a month. Donghae broke his arm when the chain of the swing randomly snapped. And that was just what Jaejoong could remember at the moment.

He thought it was all random. A byproduct of life. People got hurt. Injuries, heartache, misfortune, it was normal.

But it wasn’t.

It was Yunho.

Everything was Yunho.

All of Jaejoong’s happy memories, all his sad ones, it was Yunho’s doing. So when those boys got hurt, when his sister’s boyfriend randomly dumped her, when his teacher was fired, when his grandfather vanished, in a way, it was Jaejoong’s fault. How many people got hurt because of him!?

“Jaejoong I do not like to be kept it wai-”

“Don’t hurt him!” Jaejoong blurted out.

Yunho raised a brow, not accustomed to being interrupted.

“I’m sorry. Just…I…please don’t hurt anyone else because of me.” Jaejoong cried, terrified of what would happen next.

“Oh angel.” Yunho cooed, crouching to the boy’s level. He cupped the boy’s cheek and thumbed away a tear. “There is no need to cry. They are demons, they are used to being hurt. What is it you think I do all day?”

That didn’t help. Jaejoong began to hyperventilate.

“Shhh, calm down my angel, be calm. You are in my arms now. There is no need for tears. You are safe.”

Jaejoong did not believe that. Not at all. Oh but the warmth. God, that warmth. That did make him feel safe. He hadn’t even realized he was holding on to Yunho in the first place. When did this happen? He was scared of the man. Terrified! But he couldn’t let go. He couldn’t imagine being without him ever-

 “All I need is a yes or a no baby.” Yunho said, bring the child back to what mattered. He used the clean side of his handkerchief to wipe the rest of the boy’s face. “Did you say anything about being my mate?”

Jaejoong hiccupped and nodded his head signifying yes.

Yunho smile and kissed his scalp. “There, now was that so hard?”

Jaejoong twitched and scrunched his eyes feeling a slight burn on his head. Then it stopped, and when it did the pain from earlier was gone. Had Yunho…healed him?

**_CRACK!_ **

“AHH!”

“NO!”

Yunho laughed. He pat Jaejoong’s sprained ankle twice and rose to his feet. Jaejoong rotated his foot. It was healed too. So why was he still crying?

Yunho lazily stuck his hands in his pockets and walked over to where Sangwoo laid near passed out on the ground. He tapped the white tibia piecing through the calf with his foot causing the creature to scream in agony. He chuckled again. “If it is any consolation, even if he had said no, I still would have done this.”

In one powerful step, the stomped down hard on Sangwoo remaining good leg. Jaejoong covered his ears and closed his eyes not wanting to see or hear anymore.

“My Lord, p-please.” The demon begged, coughing on blood.

“But the mere fact that he did, well, that unlocks a new sort of lust in me.” Yunho went on cruelly. He yanked Sangwoo up by his hair and put their foreheads together. “I would love nothing more than to paint this realm red with your blood and scatter your bones to the far corners of the realm leaving just enough of you intact to be cognizant to the fact but then that would be far too merciful of me.”

He slammed the demons head into the ground than pulled him back up. Black, shimmering smoke surrounded the maimed demon, thickening and tightening with each word he spoke. “You are not a loyal demon Sangwoo. You are an opportunist, a worm. An unsightly parasitic degenerate acting as a stain of this realm.”

_It’s only a dream. It’s just a dream._

“Never again shall you walk and never again shall you stand upright. You will crawl like the worm you are and spread word of what happens to those that bring harm to my mate for the rest of eternity.”

The smoke grew darker, angrier. It wrapped itself around Sangwoo like a boa. His eyes rolled to the back of his skull, his veins turned black and still the cure grew. It chocked and shoved itself down his throat infecting every inch of what was left of his body.

“Your bones will never heal and your pain will never end. I seal you to this body demon Sangwoo, just in case you try to outsmart me.” Yunho dropped him and the smoke disappeared. “Now get out of my sight.”

Sangwoo coughed and struggled to regain himself. “Yes, my lord.” He bowed his head and crawled away just as he was told to do.

“Hm, what a shame. He was somewhat useful.” Yunho said to himself. “As for you angel, you are quit lucky I am so enamored with you otherwise you might have met a similar fate.”

Jaejoong gulped but didn’t respond or look up. Doing so would just give life to the dream. A dream he so desperately wanted to be over. And whether that meant waking up in a hospital bed or Heaven, he was too weak to care. He just wanted the nightmare to be over. Even if that meant being beheaded by the man before him. An outcome that was looking more and more probable by the second.

 _Why is this happening to me?_ Jaejoong whimpered, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Wait. Sleeve? He had cloths on?

Jaejoong examined his previously naked form confused. He was wearing a long sleeved white button up that was several sized too big for him. It was soft and warm, but then again he was always warm these days. It even had holes in the back for his wings-

Jaejoong’s eyes widened. He’d gasp if his throat wasn’t so horse from crying.

It was an angel shirt. It had to be, and not just because of the convenient holes in the back. Every dress and jacket and shirt and skirt were different in their own right. Despite what some may think, individuality existed in Heaven, even if most things were white. What tied them together wasn’t the color or fabric. It was the signature gold bottoms, or in this case cufflinks, on everything and anything. Even the tunics.

But how did Yunho get this? Even if he could recreated the fabric, he would have no ideas what the buttons looked like. Only angels had them and it wasn’t like there was a store you could buy them from either. Cloths just showed up in Heaven, keyword being in Heaven. This wasn’t Heaven, and considering what he had seen today, Jaejoong wouldn’t put it past Yunho to kill an angel and take it’s cloths as a trophy.

Was it possible to kill angel? Hell did drain them but it wasn’t deadly. Was it?

“Well?”

Jaejoong turned to face Yunho. It was then he finally realized they were back in the castle but he’d question the how and when later. Right now Yunho was angry. Jaejoong couldn’t see his face but he could tell, and this time there were no lesser demons to deflect that rage.

“Have you nothing to say?”

Jaejoong blinked. He knew this moment was coming, he just didn’t think Yunho would be so…calm. But what could he say? Did he have anything to say? Was there something Yunho wanted to hear? “I…” He trailed off.

“This is your chance to defend your actions angel. Do not spoil it.”

Yes, there was definitely something Yunho want to hear. But what? An apology? A plea for forgiveness? Those demons had done both those things and it got them killed. Jaejoong didn’t think he could die again but he was quickly learning that Yunho was capable of much more than he ever thought possible.

The demon had killed an angel after all.

“I…” Jaejoong felt his voice catch. Why was this so hard? The man was intimidating yes but there was something about his calm demeanor, even though he was clearly furious, that cut the boy. It wasn’t fear exactly. More like…disappointment. At himself.

New tears came to child’s eyes. He whimpered and sniffled hating himself for feeling what he was feeling.

Yunho pinched his brow in annoyance. “Enough of the crying already.” He nearly shouted, surprising the boy. “By gods, had I known-” He stopped and took a breath to calm himself. “Centuries I have waited for this day and all it does is cry. What a waste of an eternity.”

Ouch. Jaejoong hung his head low. Rhetorical or not, that hurt. Worse than the cut he was currently mending. It wasn’t like he liked how much he was crying. He had always been quite sensitive but now he was crying more than his sisters when they watch a drama.

“I’m sorry.” He whimpered, not sure of what else to say.

Silence followed his tiny apology.

Then, to his surprise, laughter. Jaejoong looked up, confused once more.

“Sorry?” Yunho chuckled. “How maddening. Do you even know what you are apologizing for?”

Jaejoong blinked. Of course he knew. Kind of. The truth was, Jaejoong was sorry for a lot of things. Crying only being a small part of it. He was sorry for leaving the castle and thinking he could survive on his own. Sorry to those that were harmed because of him and suffered by default. He was sorry to Junsu, for insisting on going to Earth. For wandering away and getting captured. He was sorry to his family and friends, all that he put them through, lots of people and more. But above all, and it sickened him to admit this, he was sorry to Yunho and the plethora of trouble he caused the man since arriving.

Jaejoong wasn’t worth it. Not in his mind. He lived a simple life, had simple dreams and simple likes. He was no one special. And yet a preverbal war broke out the day he died and for what? An ordinary boy who cried too much. Yunho said he had been waiting centuries for their meeting and for that too, Jaejoong was sorry.

He forced himself to hold back his tears. “I really am a waste.” He whispered.

**_CRASH!_ **

Jaejoong jumped with a gasp. Yunho had slammed his large dresser to the floor, spilling its contents and shattering the mirror.

Jaejoong looked from the hundreds of images of himself to the one Yunho. His rage was visible now.  Before him was no longer the prince of lust and Hell, but a demon. A creature from his nightmares both figuratively and actually.

“Do you have any idea what would have happened to you had I not arrived when I did!” He shouted. “What were you thinking?!”

Jaejoong moved up the bed afraid and cold. He was cold. Why was he cold?

“I told you, no, I _warned_ you what would happen if you left he castle walls and you had the audacity to defy me?! Tell me now angel, is this going to be a common thing? Because if so I will do us both a favor and finish you off myself. I promise I won’t prolong your suffering.”

Jaejoong could no longer contain his tears. He didn’t like this. He couldn’t handle being yelled at, he didn’t like what he was seeing. And why was he cold!? He attempted to cover his ears but Yunho already had his arms in a vice grip.

“I should just fuck you now.” He laughed. “Do to you what those beast would have done over and over and over again until there was nothing left but a living hole. At least with me you’ll enjoy it. Then there will be no doubt who you belong to.”

“Y-Yunho p-p-please. You’re scaring me.” Jaejoong whimpered.

Yunho smiled and caressed his cheek. “I am a demon darling. Scaring people is part of my job.”

In one swift movement he had Jaejoong on his back, arms pinned above his head. He struggled to get free but to no avail. “Yunho please. Don’t do this.”

“Shh.” Yunho said seductively, petting the child head. “Be calm darling, this was going to happen eventually. You are the nephilim to the demon of lust. We might as well get started.” He kissed his cheek. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same.”

Nephilim. Nephilim. That’s what those demons called him too but what did it mean? Why was it so-

Jaejoong’s eyes widened feeling his shirt ripped from his back. He shivered at the cold he was no longer uses too. He was right. He really had just escaped one situation for another; prolonged the enviable. Maybe that’s what a Nephilim was. A soul fated to be a demons bed slave. He cried into his pillow waiting for the pain to come.

He flinched. Not from pain. Shock rather at the gentle touch of a hand.

Not at all what he was expecting.

It traced the wound on his back, right at the base of his wing. He had almost forgotten about it for a multitude of reasons. His own person turmoil being one of the. If Yunho’s fingers were anything to go by, it was bigger than he thought.

“Oh my sweet love.” He heard Yunho breath.

The demon sighed and placed his hand at Jaejoong’s lips. The boy reeled back on instinct.  

“Bite down my love.” Yunho told him. “You will not hurt me. I only wish I could do the same.”

Jaejoong did as he was told. The demons mood swings were weird but he’d rather deal with this Yunho than the latter. He couldn’t help but wonder though, if Yunho healed his other injuries so seamlessly, why would this time hurt?

Then came the pain Jaejoong forgot all thought.

It was like fire, no, ice. No, both. Neither? Jaejoong didn’t know but it hurt. More than any other pain he experienced to date.

He screamed into Yunho hand, biting down hard. He could feel the fibers of his skin mending, the cells regenerating and multiplying but that was not the cause of the pain. His wing fighting with something else was.

“I know my love, I know. It’s almost over. Bear with me a little while longer.”

Jaejoong prayed he was right. The feeling was indescribable. It was like knives stabbing bone, scrapping away the collagen and carving the marrow. A constant, never ending, pressure that made him wish he was numb.

Then there was a high pitch scream but not from Jaejoong. It was like an entity crying out in pain. Had he known any better, he’d say his wings had a mind of their own.

The ear splitting scream and the mind altering pain went on until Yunho moved his hands. Then there was nothing.

No pain. No scream. Nothing.

Yunho kissed the spot he healed and removed his hand from Jaejoong’s mouth, free of teeth marks. “Your wings are of the heaves. My abilities are not. That’s what happens when they intersect.”

Jaejoong listened but didn’t say a word. He wasn’t capable of forming coherent sentences at the moment.

Yunho helped him up and turned him over so his back was against the soft pillows. “Are you hurt anywhere else?” He asked.

Jaejoong shook his head no. It was the truth, physically speaking.

“Are you hungry?”

Another no. A lie this time.

Yunho smiled. “I shall have try sent up then.” He kissed Jaejoong’s forehead and stood up. “I will prepare a bath for you. Take it when you are ready. Then try to get some sleep.”

He walked towards the bathroom but stopped, hand gripping the frame. “I meant what I said angel.” He said not looking at Jaejoong. “Please do not leave the castle again. There is no guarantee I will find you next time.”

And there it was. What Yunho wanted to hear. It wasn’t an apology nor plea. It was a promise. A promise that Jaejoong would stay safe. Yunho was worried about him. Scared he lost him. That’s why he blew up, that’s why-

No. That wasn’t it. For that to happen the demon would have to care and Jaejoong wasn’t something worth caring about. He was little more than a bed slave really.

But, there was a possibility that the demon did care right? There was possibility that nephilim didn’t mean what he thought it meant. After all, he only just leaned of the word today. A part of Jaejoong believed that. Another part of him, the rational part, just wanted sleep.

He stared at the door the demon left behind more confused and hurt than even.

At least he was warm now. That was nice.


	4. Careful what you wish for little angel. You may not like the means to the end.

_\--19 years ago--_

Yunho leaned against a tree with a blank expression on his face and arms crossed. He could not believe he was here. He did not want to be here. The demon prince of lust and damnation, ruler of Hell with worshipers at his feet should not be at a fucking park on Earth full of screaming children!

Now in truth, it was not his decision to be in such a place. It was Jaejoong’s. And the fact that he was taking orders from a five year who had to sleep with a night light was a bit maddening. However the choice to do so was a decision all of his own.

And may the fates have mercy on whom ever dare mock him for it.

He wasn’t actually complaining though. Afternoons like this, along with a whole host of other things he never thought he would find himself doing, were not a burden. He liked spending time with the child, especially now that he could speak full sentences. He enjoyed getting Jaejoong a snack when he was hungry. He looked forward to reading him a story at bedtime, and, like now for instance, delighted in playing catch with the child despite his inability to catch, run, or throw.

Actually with wasn’t so much ‘catch’ as it was ‘watch Jaejoong run after his oversized ball and make sure he doesn’t fall in the process’. It was a fulltime job really. One his mother could be doing if she ever got off the phone with her church friends.

“You’re not having any fun.”

Yunho peered down at a puffy cheeked Jaejoong. He smiled, a habit he had grown accustomed to but was not yet fond of.

“Not true.” He said, crouching down to the child’s level. “I am having tons of fun see.” He made his point by attacking the child with ticklish fingers.

Jaejoong giggled and dropped his ball in his fit. Yunho relished in the sound; his body growing warm and alive in its presence. He wondered how he ever went so long without hearing such a sound. It was like iridescent bubbles in the sun or chalk paintings on pavement; innocent, sweet, and pure. A nice change from the screams he was used to hearing.

And much to his surprise that was all the demon felt towards his mate. Innocent, sweet, pure thoughts. His usual depravity left in the wind. Their future of course held a different story but for now all Yunho could see or feel were intentions that began and ended with Jaejoong’s happiness and wellbeing. He was content with being the boy’s very real ‘imaginary friend’ as his family so often put it. It made sense in way. No one other than Jaejoong could see him and he was definitely something out of a fantasy.

“Really?” Jaejoong asked when the assault was over.

“Really.” Yunho assured, smoothing out the child’s hair. “Have I given you a reason to think otherwise?” He was used the boy’s need for reassurance and praise but his question was more concerned with his own confidence this time.

Insecure wasn’t even in Yunho’s vocabulary but he wanted, no, needed Jaejoong to like him which wasn’t easy for him to admit. There was the obvious of course. If Jaejoong were fond of him now, it would make everything run a lot smoother when the time came for their coupling. That was easy for it made sense. The other reason, the one that ate at him and told him what to wear, how to style his hair, wasn’t. Yunho actually wanted the boy to like him for him. As to why? Well, he wasn’t really sure.

All of this was so new and irritating for the demon. Partly because being liked was not something Yunho ever cared about but also because he didn’t know how to deal with kids.

Children didn’t go to hell. That wasn’t how the system worked. Even if they had done something particularly heinous, it was decided long ago that they were not capable of understanding the consequence of their actions. Were they capable of sin? Yes. Were they punished for it? No. And it was for this reason that in Yunho’s 400+ years of existence, his interactions with the little mortals had been very, very limited. He didn’t know what they liked or disliked, what to do when they cried. That they were afraid of the dark or that they got tummy aches for too many sweets.

Taking care of Jaejoong was an experience in it of itself. One he would have never volunteered for if given the chance but still wanted to succeed at. Yunho did not want to leave any room for Jaejoong to think ill of him. And, not to boost his ego, he thought he was doing alright. But then Jaejoong would seemingly randomly get this saddened look on his face with inward pointed toes and gnawed lip. It made Yunho think otherwise every time.

“Joongie, what is wrong my little angel?” He asked, truly concerned. 

“Mommy’s always busy. And daddy’s always busy too. Yunnie’s probably really busy too right?” The child mumbled, eyes to the ground.

For the first time Yunho was taken aback by the child’s words. The boy wasn’t making any sense which was kind of the norm. Jaejoong had several thoughts the feelings a minute, most of which he couldn’t articulate. When he did it hardly matched the conversation. That, Yunho was used to. It didn’t make it any easier to keep up with or less confusing but Yunho learned to go along with it. This however, was worrying. “Joongie what in all the realms are you taking about? You know I am never too busy for you. Where is this all coming from?”

The sensitive child gnawed at his pink lips more. “Grown-ups have lots of important grown up stuff to do. And Yunnie has stuff to do too. That’s why he’s not here all the time. So if you have stuff to do it’s okay but Joongie doesn’t want Yunnie to leave because he’s not having any fun. He’d miss Yunnie.” He said, concentrating on how to pronounce the last word.

Yunho fought to keep his anger from surfacing. Jaejoong would feel it and he didn’t want to frighten the boy.

Jaejoong’s home life was nowhere near bad. His parents loved him and his sisters, those that were out of their teens, carefully looked out for him. But even a loving, God fearing household was not without sin. His father had a nasty temper, his mother a self-absorbed sadist (hence Jaejoong’s creation), and not one of his sister fit the description of ‘good Christian girl’. Jaejoong being so young and different was contently pushed aside. That wasn’t how a family should treat its youngest and most venerable member. Five years ago sure, Yunho wouldn’t have bat an eye. He’d seen worse. But this was Jaejoong, his little angel, and his little angel deserved noting but the best. Yunho was going to make sure of that.

“Now see here little one.” Yunho began, taking the five year old by the chin. “You are correct about one thing. I do have a very important job. Can you guess what it is?”

“A wizard.” Jaejoong guessed cutely, referring to all the ‘magic’ he had seen Yunho do.

The demon could not help but chuckle. “No silly boy. My job is to ensure that a smile never leaves your face and tears never fall from your eyes. If I am away it is because my less important job has called for me but you are my first priority and there is nothing in all the realms that gives me greater joy nor honor than spending time with you. Every moment I spend with you is full of fun. Am I clear?”

Jaejoong smiled wide and bright. He nodded his head furiously.

Yunho smiled himself. “Much better.” He praised. “Never fear you can call upon me Joongie, I will always be here for you. Always.” He placed an innocent kiss on the child forehead and hugged him tight.

Jaejoong sighed happily and snuggled further into the embrace. “I love you Yunnie.”

If Yunho had a beating heart, he was sure it would have stopped right about now. Not since his mother had he heard those words and never before had he felt such a comforting heat. It almost felt wrong considering all he’d done and who he was.

He closed his eyes and burned the memory into his being. “And I love you Jaejoong.” He responded, giving the heat life and solidifying his fate.

“Can Yunnie push me on the swings?”

Yunho laughed and released the boy. “He would love to.”

\--

 

 

 

Yunho released a hard sigh as he looked out the window from where he was sitting. For immortals such as he, time was never of the essence. There was just so much of it after all. But when you had been waiting for something, yearning for something, it was enough to make even a demon invest in a watch.

It had been two weeks. Two _long_ weeks since his mate came to him; 11 days since the incident. And while Yunho had anticipated one or two bumps along the path to his mate and their coupling, he hadn’t foreseen _this_. 

 _This_ wasn’t how things were supposed to go. _This_ wasn’t what he envisioned. All those years of planning. All the work he put into himself and gods did he work. He tried and Yunho could honestly say that he never “tried” at anything in all his existence but _this_ … He wanted it so badly.

Jaejoong was supposed to want it too.

But instead of eons of lounging around with each other, making love until the end of time and memorizing every molecule that made up their beings, he was alone. His mate was alone. And that future of nothing but joy and laughter and even love seemed farther away than ever before. 

 _What a fucked up mess this is,_ he thought as he finished the dark contents of his glass.

“You want to consider slowing down maybe. That is your fifth one.”

Yunho eyed the empty glass. “It is all the same is it not? It is not like I can become a drunk. Though I am a little upset about that actually.”

Hangeng laughed and shook his head from where he stood before taking a seat across from the moody demon. “Trouble in paradise?”

Yunho smirked. “Am I that transparent?” He rotated the glass in his hands twice until it was full once more.

Hangeng shrugged. “Hardly but as I have been in your shoes before, I felt it safe to presume.”

Now it was Yunho’s turn to laugh “As of when did you speak in mortal idioms?”

“Don’t mock what’s in your future brother.” Hangeng playfully warned. “In another five moons you’ll be worse than me.”

“For that to happen my mate would have to stan being in the same room as me.” Yunho said somberly.

Hangeng nodded in understanding. “Which brings us back to my original question. Care to answer it.”

Yunho pinched his brow in thought. There was how he felt and what he was willing to admit. Neither were a lie but only one was the truth. Hangeng would see through his façade. He’d been there, that’s why Yunho was here. There was no reason to hiding anything from the other demon. But saying his thoughts and feeling out loud would give them life, and with it, power. A power Yunho was not quite ready to surrender to.

“He hates me.”

“He does not hate you.”

“Yes he does.”

“No he does not. He is your mate. He only thinks he hates you. Give it time.”

“ _Time_?!” Yunho said bewildered. He scoffed. “Was 18 years not enough time?! I damn well raised that boy. I became what he needed when he needed it and all you had to do was drop trou and let your mate find his way to your cock. Do not peach to me about time brother for I have given this more than enough _time_.”

Hangeng gave his brother a look. “Yunho, I know you don’t want to hear this but the last time Jaejoong _saw_ you he was still new to the earth. It’s entirely possible he doesn’t remem-”

“He remembers.” Yunho said quickly. “He is a nephilim, the manifestation of my sin, he remembers. Heechul remembers.”

Hangeng nodded. “His past life yes and from what you have told me so does Jaejoong.”

“That is not his life.”

“Why? Because your name does not come up?”

“Precisely.”

“Oh gods not this again.”

“Fuck you!” Yunho near shouted. “I did everything for that boy! I was there for everything! Even after they blinded him to me. I stood by him, watched over him, protected him from what they would have condoned.” He took a breath and finish his drink. “The moment he came to me, the moment he saw me, he should have remembered everything and instead he hates me. How could that be?”

“I don’t know.” Hangeng said after a moment of silence. “I know you came here for answers but I honestly don’t know.”

Yunho laughed bitterly. “And here I was told you had already figured out all this nonsense.”

“Then you should smite those who lied to you.” Hangeng responded. “Jaejoong is only the second to have made it this far and you can’t possibly compare our situations. Heechul came straight to me after his passing. Bloody and broken, not droning wings and halo I might add. And before you mention my cock again I want to highlight, he’s also 10 years the boys senior and was gay out the womb. Yours spent his life believing it to be a sin. Gender and chromosomes may mean little to us, but for humans it is everything.”

Yunho raised his head as a memory came to mind. “His wings.” He said aloud to himself.

“What?”

“His memories. Tt is his wings. Of course, fuck. How did I not see it?”

“Yunho please. Just because that was the case with you doesn’t mean it is here.”

“Jaejoong remembers his past life without me.”

“Yes,” Hangeng cautioned. “We established that.”

“No, we thought he could not remember but he does. He is not experiencing memory loss, his wings are creating ones in which I do not exist.” He explained triumphantly. “That’s why he only remembers a picture perfect family and minimal suffering.”

Hangeng blinked skeptically. “Why do you look so happy about that?”

“Because that means I can fix this. Should I not be happy?”

“Yes. Because if you are right it would mean the removal of his wings.”

Yunho’s smile slowly fell from his face. There was only one way to remove angel wings and the process wasn’t easy.

Angel wings were not just for show. They were the strength, power, and life source of angels. When they were removed, it meant the eradication of said angel. On a mortal…

“His soul would be destroyed.”

Hangeng nodded.

Yunho fell back into his seat. He was back a square one. Jaejoong was a nephilim yes, but his soul was still that of a mortal. Removing his wings, it was too risky. No, not a risk. Yunho was curtain of the outcome. His mate would not survive it. It had been six years since Jaejoong’s past life. By now the wings would have fused to his soul. There was no removing them.

Another sigh. “I suppose I should begin making my new living quarters permanent.”

“Perhaps.” Said Hangeng. “Perhaps not.”

Yunho raised a brow.

“No one said it was his wings.”

“It is.”

“You don’t know that for sure brother. We don’t know any more about holy magic then they know of ours.”

“I fucking hate that word.” Yunho pouted.

“Fine, abilities. Forgive me if don’t speak in the same century as you. My point is I understand your frustration brother. Your rage at them for what they did to you, the fact that it may be happening to your mate, I share it. But it is not an absolute.”

“I am not going to risk my mate’s existence.”

“You won’t need to.”

Yunho eyed the demon confused. “What are you getting at?”

Hangeng smiled coly before rising to his feet with their glasses. “Much like you brother, I too hate to repeat myself.”

Yunho sighed and rolled his eyes. “Time.”

“And patience.”

“Another word I fucking hate.”

Hangeng laughed as he walked to the kitchen of his humble home. Ironic for the demon of pride.

“If it’s any consolation,” He said as he washed the glasses. “I’m not quite partial to the idea either so I’m enlisted some help.”

“If you are referring to our previous conversation, a fucks worth that was.”

“You really are daft.” He said from the doorway, a washcloth and glass in hand.

Yunho looked puzzled once more. Than his eyes widened. “Of fuck.”

~

 

 

 

Two weeks.

Or had it been one?

Eight days maybe?

Honestly, did it even matter? Jaejoong stopped counting after the third night. A number in which he only arrived at based on the number of times Yunho came into his bedroom since the “incident” and even it was unreliable. He had no way of telling how much time had passed (his window to the outside world had been removed), and he never actually saw the demon.

But he could feel him. Jaejoong knew when the man was there. It was the only time his wings didn’t shiver and hang in the weight of the bitter loneliness that now surrounded him.

The tiny angel didn’t know whether to be relived or sad at what their interactions had been reduced to.

No talking, no eye contact, no daring touches that made his skin burn and his heart skip beats. Just three fleeting glances, on his part, at a broad silent silhouette.

Perhaps there was a small chance that their relationship would improve if only one would bend and say something first, but the likelihood of that happening was lesser than a demon in Heaven or an angle in Hell.

For starters, to speak, both parties would need to be present in the same place at the same time. But as Yunho stopped coming to his bedroom and Jaejoong never left, for a plethora of reasons, their paths never crossed. And the long the isolation, the deeper the child fell into a cold depression he never thought he would feel again, comparable only to the day he was baptized.

And what a sad day that was.

What should have been a joyous occasion only left him feeling empty and wrong. First the water was warm then it was freezing; earth shatteringly freezing and every day after that followed very much the same. His doctor said because he was born premature he couldn’t retain heat but Jaejoong didn’t think that was right.

The 12 years prior were never so cold. The moment after he was baptized was the beginning; the change was unmistakable. He went from being the kid who was always hot to never being without a coat, not even in summer.

He confided in his therapist once, which was a mistake that ended in yet another precreation. After that he stopped talking about (if only to have one less pill to swallow). What was point? No one believed him anyways.

But the warmth was real. He knew it. It was real and it was comforting and beautiful. It made him happy even when things were sad, and laugh when there was reason to cry. He was happy. It made him happy.

_“I love you Yunnie.”_

_“And I love you my little angel.”_

Jaejoong bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. No, it wasn’t that. He refused to believe his happiness was because of that. He pulled a pillow over his head in a sad attempt to block out the thoughts.

It only happened twice, the thoughts. And only at night when the cold was at its worst. He would burry himself under mounds of blankets and for the most part it worked. He would survive. But twice…twice his mind wandered into a horrifying place. A place where joyous laughter was tormenting and a version of his younger self found solace in a demon.

Twice he woke up crying. Each time feeling colder and sadder than before.

But they were dreams. No matter how real they felt, they were just dreams. Nightmares placed in his head to rot his mind and cloud his heart. But Jaejoong would fall for such a false past. He’ll admit, there the possibility of a connection between him and Yunho. After all, why else would he be here? But he refused to fall prey to the belief that the cold he felt back than and the heat that he missed now, were anywhere near related.

No matter that the dreams said, it was not true. End of story.

Besides, what did any of that matter? At the end of the day he got what he wanted. Yunho was finally leaving him alone. He was free of the monster. He should be happy.

This was good. Yunho was everything bad and nothing moral and Jaejoong hated him.

…right?

He shivered and pulled the blood red blanket further around himself. _Please let it be right._

Jaejoong laid there for a long moment, toying with the idea of sleep but decided against it. He sighed. Isolation wasn’t just depressing, it was boring. He was running out of things to do. He read all the books on the bookshelf (the ones that looked interesting anyways), and gone through all the games on an old GameBoy color he found lying around.  

He could draw. Jaejoong did love drawing He even found some very nice art supplies in one of the drawers of the vanity. The sketch books looked a little used and the tin with the pencils a bit beaten up but that only made Jaejoong smile. It meant that these were well used and well-loved supplies. Jaejoong never understood how some artist could go for so long not touching their supplies or dancing around then as they were made of butterfly wings. He treasured his items but he wasted no time in ripping open their packages to use them. Here should be no different.

But alas, art wasn’t something to be forced and with his literal window to the outside world now gone, so too was any inspiration. Jaejoong did some of his best work when he wasn’t feeling too well but this sadness was paralyzing and as a result, the thick paper and pretty pencils remained were they were.

There was of course always the option of exploring the castle but Jaejoong wasn’t very partial to that idea. Despite what he had been told, he didn’t think anywhere but the bedroom of his mate was safe, ironically enough. He didn’t even venture to the dining hall to eat. One, because the fear of Yunho being there was too great, and two because Changmin wasn’t much for conversation when around food.

Gluttony. That was his sin or the sin he carried rather. Yoochun explained to him how the sins worked some time ago over lunch. Currently, said demon was the only other being he saw on a daily basis. The demon would bring him his meals and more often than not stay and chat with the child for a bit. It was nice. _He_ was nice. Far more pleasant that what Jaejoong had originally been introduced to. Mostly they talked about nothing but occasionally, when Jaejoong was brave enough to ask, their conversations grew education.

There was a lot that puzzled Jaejoong about his new surrounding but there was only one thing he really wanted to know. What was a nephilim?

Jaejoong knew he was one, he was called it enough, and somehow that tide him to Yunho but he didn’t get how or why. Whenever he asked Yoochun, he was always met with the same response. “You know you’re supposed to be learning this in training, correct.”

Eventually Jaejoong stopped asking. Partly because he figured Yoochun was not allowed to tell him, but mainly because it made him a little sad to hear.

He was glad he didn’t have to go through with ‘training’, or lessons as Yunho had renamed them, but he found it very hard to believe that it really was for his benefit. He was curious yes, but not so much to see Yunho as someone who wanted to do right by him.

Another deep sigh. Jaejoong looked at the clock above the door, his only means of telling time. It had been several hours since breakfast. Yoochun would be coming in any minute now with his lunch. He should at least try and look presentable. Not that the demon cared either way.

With that final thought, Jaejoong found the strength to rise and make his way to bathroom to freshen up. He stripped himself of his nightshirt and headed straight for the shower. It wasn’t a really a shower per say but as Jaejoong was not one accustomed to baths, a rainfall showerhead mounted to wall was sufficient enough.

As much as the little angel wanted to pretend he didn’t know where the contraption came from, he know he couldn’t. It was only two nights ago he mentioned his preference to Yoochun. An hour later there it was. It was yet another thing that should make the child happy but the realization that Yoochun was just spying on him for Yunho stung hurt his little heart. Jaejoong wouldn’t go so far as to say they were friends or anything, (this was Hell and Yoochun was a demon after all), but he’d like to think there were in good standing.

He leaned his head against the tile and watched the suds from his soap cascade down the drain into nothingness. Board and lonely. He wasn’t quite sure which was worse.

Jaejoong really missed having friends, or at least someone his age to pass the time with. In Heaven there were plenty of people for him to talk to and play games with. Here there was nothing, no one. How could a castle so big, be so empty?

He turned off the shower and reached for a towel and began to dry off. He stepped out of the bathroom but stopped short.

Perhaps he spoke to soon.

Jaejoong stared at his intruder with wide fearful eyes. Someone was in his room. Someone other than Yoochun or Yunho was in his room!

They looked normal enough. Maybe their cloths were a bit outdated but normal. Still, Jaejoong was weary. If the little angel had learned anything in his short time in the realm, it was that looks were very deceiving.

“Um.” It finally spoke in a male’s voice. “I could come back later if now is a bad time.”

Jaejoong turned beet red at the realization he was in nothing but a towel and raced back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

“That was meant to be a joke.”

Jaejoong put his face in his hands scrunched his eyes closed. He was so embarrassed. “Please go away. Where is Yoochun?”

“Yoochun?” The stranger began to laugh. “Don’t tell me that’s who you were waiting for dressed like that?”

“I was not!” Jaejoong said childishly. Realizing what the other must have been implying he added. “He’s bringing me lunch is all.”

Pause.

“Holy fucking shit, are you Jaejoong?”

“Y-yes.” He answered timidly, not liking the man’s colorful use of curses.

There was another pause. Longer this time. Then the door rattled. Jaejoong moved away on instinct.

Raveled was the new comer with a softer face and an outstretched hand with clean robes.

“We should talk.”

~

 

 

 

“Sorry about earlier. I didn’t realize who you were or where I was for that matter.” Heechul said looking around Yunho’s room. “I always pictured this place kinkier.”

Jaejoong looked up from the meal that Heechul brought him. “What does that mean?”

Heechul tried not to look shocked. “How old are you by the way?”

“18.”

“Fucking hell.” He said. “And you’re that small. Have you ever even seen a dick?”

“No!” Jaejoong said aghast. “And I’m not that small.” He quickly added. “I was born premature.”

“So. We all are, that’s not an excuse.” He said casually.

Jaejoong looked at the man confused. “What?”

Heechul immediately regretted his words. Hangeng had warned him about his careless mouth. He needed to be more careful. “Uh, what?” He said for lack of anything else.

“What do you mean _we_ all were?” Jaejoong asked genuinely curious.

“What do _you_ mean _we_? I didn’t say we.”

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.  HonesrgowrjkdnoHonestly, you’re probably just hearing things.”

To that Jaejoong fell silent. The numbness he had been feeling; the harsh reality he was forced to stomach and fall submissive to, it was all fading from him. And it its place was rage.

But Jaejoong had never been angry, or at least this angry. He didn’t know what to do with it. So he did want he always did when he was (rarely) mad. He fell silence and withdrawn.

Heechul looked at the child concerned. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, noting the boy’s rigged stance and hardened eyes.

Jaejoong kept his eyes down and continued eating. “I’m fine.”

“You sure? Cause you don’t look very-”

“I said I’m fine.” He shot.

Heechul held up his hands in defense. “Okay, okay.”

They sat in silence for a long moment; Jaejoong focused of the kimchi jjigae before him and Heechul searching for what to say next.

When he was finished, Jaejoong pushed his tray aside and looked at the man sitting across for him.

Heechul waved from his chair in a sad attempt to lighten the mood.

“Why are you here?” Jaejoong finally asked, incredibly uncomfortable.

Heechul laughed nervously. “Would you believe I don’t even know?”

Jaejoong hugged a (Yunho’s) pillow and rolled to his side. “Whatever. If you’re just hear to spy on me you can go now. I’m just gonna sleep.”

“Fair enough, but I’m not a spy.” Heechul didn’t take offence to the boy’s tone. He understood. He was the same at one time. Worse even. He really hated being back in the castle.

“Then why are you here?” Jaejoong asked again, not looking at the man.

“I-”He stopped. Where did he begin? He was supposed to be making things easier for Yunho but after seeing Jaejoong, how young he was, he didn’t have the heart. That wasn’t fair and shame on his mate for asking.

No, he couldn’t do what was asked of him, not in good conscience. But there was something else he could do. Something that he wished was done for him.

He quickly looked at the clock. If the odds were in his favor he had a good 10 minutes to speak from his heart. After that, there was no telling who was on the other side of that door listening in. “Look, I’ll level with you. I didn’t want to do this. Talking to you. I mean, I know I should because god knows I’m the only person who literally knows how you feel right now but looking at you, being back here. It’s not easy.”

Jaejoong didn’t move his ears perked at the words. He was listening now.

“I’m okay with how things are now. You could even say I’m content. But back then, fuck I was scared.” Heechul went on. “I kept wondering why me. What did I do? I even started thinking maybe everyone was right. Maybe being gay really does send you to hell.” He laughed.

At a hardier laugh, Jaejoong turned his head slightly. “What’s so funny?”

“When did you lose the window?”

Jaejoong blinked, processing what the other had asked. “Not long after I got here.”

“Nice.” Heechul said. “I didn’t lose mine until, three weeks in.” He questioned himself. “I got a little side tracked which I am not at all proud of.”

Another wave a silence glossed over them. This time with a lower density and higher pensiveness. Heechul wanted to give Jaejoong time to responded and or process his thoughts but the longer he waited the more time he was wasting. What he was sharing, what he was saying, they were thoughts he dared never breathe into life. Now it wouldn’t end his existent like it might have decades ago but it wasn’t wise either. But it needed to be said, for Jaejoong sake, and his own.

“You know I wouldn’t be so bitter if I could just forget the past.” He went on, leaning back on the two leg of the chair. “I might actually be happy had I not known what I do. But you don’t forget things down here. You’ll learn that soon if you haven’t already. Your dreams are your worst memories and your nightmares are your happiest ones. Swear that asshole put me though the ringer just so I would run to him.” He spoke from the heart.

_I love you my little angel._

“Memories?” Jaejoong asked.

“Every last one of them.” Heechul said, still teetering in his seat. “It fucking sucks.”

_“Higher, Yunnie. Higher!”_

Jaejoong bit his lip. “So it’s stuff that actually happened? Even if you don’t remember it?”

Heechul stilled. He leaned forward and gave the boy an odd look. “What do you mean you don’t remember them?”

_“Goodnight Yunnie.”_

_“Sweetest dreams my little angel.”_

Jaejoong didn’t respond, far too deep in thought.

It just wasn’t possible. How could it be possible? In what way, shape or form was it possible?!

“Is…” He paused to wipe the tears away. “Isn’t it possible that someone made them up? Like they want you to think they are real but they aren’t?”

Upon realization Heechul was really glad Jaejoong couldn’t see his face. He was here for make things easier for the child but this was news he did not want to be the one to deliver. “Maybe.” He lied. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Jaejoong nodded and turned around. He sat up and pulled his keens to his chest. “I don’t think mine are real. I don’t want them to be.”

Heechul nodded. “I can understand that.”

“What kind of nightmares do you have?” Jaejoong asked, opening up a little. He still had hope. Maybe they were talking about two different things.

Heechul smiled sadly. “Gunhee.” He said taking a seat on the bed next to Jaejoong.

“Who?” The babe asked cutely.

“The single most amazing man I had ever met who for some crazy reason wanted to marry me.” He laughed. “I loved him. I loved him so much. I didn’t even think a love like that was possible until the day I met him.”

“You don’t think about your family?”

Heechul shrugged. “My sister sure but not my parents. My mom died minutes after I was born and I never knew my father. I was raised by my grandparents who weren’t the greatest nor worst. They did their best with the boy who killed their only child.”

Jaejoong looked at Heechul with sad eyes. “Oh.” He said, feeling terrible. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m kind of glad I didn’t have a picture perfect family. It be just one more thing to miss.”

Jaejoong held his knees tighter. “I think about my family a lot. But in the dreams, it’s not how I remember.”

“How so?” Heechul asked, knowing full well what was next.

“I don’t know but we’re not as happy as I remember. Mommy and daddy were fighting and…” He trailed off, not wanting to admit the rest. They were talking about the same thing, and that was hard for him to stomach.

“What?”

Jaejoong bit his lip and looked around the room. “Promise not to tell anyone?” He whispered.

“Promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

Heechul bit back the joke on his tongue and hooked his pinky with Jaejoong’s. “Pinky promise.”

Satisfied, Jaejoong went on. “Yunho is there.”

“What?” Heechul gasped, faying surprise.

“Shhh!” Jaejoong hushed, looking around room as if they were being watched. “I know it sounds crazy,” He whispered, “But he was there. Like he knew me and everything. But that’s not possible right? I didn’t met him until whenever it was I got here.”

“Two weeks ago.” Said Heechul in deep thought.

“What?”

“Nothing. And this is every night?”

Jaejoong shook his head. “Only twice.”

Heechul nodded. That made sense. His dreams stopped the moment he and Hangeng shared a bed for more than an hour. It was most likely the same with Jaejoong, only the boy didn’t know it. Yunho would never be able to leave Jaejoong completely alone, and considering all that has happened, who could blame him.

Still, for Jaejoong to think they were false, other forces had to be at work. But what? And more importantly, why?

“Heechul.”

Heechul turned to the somber boy next to him.

“You know what we are right?”

The elder nodded. “I do.”

“But you’re not gonna tell me, are you?”

“No.” He said with regret in his voice.

Jaejoong tried not to be angry. “Why?”

“Because hearing it from a third party sucks a lot more than hearing it from your mate.” He said honestly.

“What if I don’t want a mate?” Jaejoong mumbled, turning pouty.

Heechul laughed and rose to his feet. “You’re preaching to the choir Jaejoong. I was engaged remember? This was the last thing I wanted.”

“Bet yours didn’t hate you.” Jaejoong said put-off.

Heechul laughed and fixed his dark hair in the vanity mirror. “That’s where you’re Jaejoong. Yunho hates a lot of things but you? Not possible.”

“Lucky me.” Jaejoong said sarcastically.

Heechul chuckled and turned to face the boy still sitting on the bed. “Look I’m not gonna bull shit and say Yunho’s a great guy and that you should give love a chance or anything because that’s not how things work down here. Our roles were decided long before even they got here.” He gestured to the door. “You will be bound to Yunho. It’s up to you how much force is used in the process.”

“Did _he_ tell you to say that?” Jaejoong asked, scared.

“No. Hangeng did. As a warning. But that’s not why I’m saying it.” Heechul smiled.

“Is he like Yunho?”

“God no, worse!” Heechul exclaimed catching the child off guard. “Be thankful you got the demon of lust and not the demon of pride. Less bitchy yes, but ten times as stubborn and over the stupidest stuff. ‘I see no use for primitive, mortal inventions. I can do this myself ten times as fast.’ Okay, cool, I still want a washing machine though.”

Jaejoong laughed honestly for the first time since arriving. “Is he…the one you’re with?” He asked. He wasn’t quite ready to use the word mate yet. He wasn’t even going to touch the fact that they were males.

“Unfortunately.” Heechul said, retucking his shirt into his bell bottoms. “That was a joke by the way.”

Jaejoong nodded as he watched Heechul ready himself to leave. “Do you love him?” He asked suddenly.

Heechul stopped what he was doing. Jaejoong waited as the man stayed silent, pondering the words he tried not to think about.

“I care for him.” He said finally. “And I know he cares for me but I’ve already been in love once. I can’t do it again.”

Some of the joy left Jaejoong’s face. “That sounds so sad.”

“It is.” Heechul said, returning to his former self. “But they don’t call this place Hell for nothing.” He looked around the bare room puzzled. “Speaking of which, what do you do in here all day anyways?”

Jaejoong shrugged. “It’s not so bad. There’s books to read, an old Gameboy, and I found some art supplies a while ago.”

“Yeah I was never one for drawing.” He said looking at the desk. “Now Gameboys, those are cool. Wish they had them in my time.”

“Haha,” Jaejoong laughed. “Those are so old. When did you get here anyways?”

“30, 40 years ago maybe.” He guessed. “You eventually stop counting. And screw you. We had bigger things to worry about than getting the latest cell phone.” He teased. “Anyways, seeing how as I’m fresh out of time from wandering ears, I suppose now is when I’ll take my leave. See you around Jaejoong.”

“Bye.” He gave a tiny smile of his own and waved the man off.

When the door closed Jaejoong sighed sadly and rose to his feet. He thought he was feeling better. He should be at least. He found someone like him and possibly a friendship. But while those were things he wanted and never thought he would ever see again, he couldn’t find know with all to dismiss what he heard and celebrate.

He never told Heechul what kind of art supplies he found, nor where they were. And while he desperately wanted to believe that the other male meant him no harm and saw said supplies once upon a time ago, he knew the chances were low. Heechul had never been in Yunho’s room before and the tin holding all the pretty high quality pencils was far too similar to his own before his heart stopped beating.

 

_—14 years ago—_

“Wow.” Awed Yunho as he admired Jaejoong’s latest work in his art book. “These are lovely angel. Simply stunning.”

Jaejoong looked away to hide his blush. “You’re lying.” He said swinging his feet off his bed.

Yunho took the boy’s face in his hands. “Now where would you get a silly idea like that?”

Jaejoong bit his lip out of habit. “You’re always saying things to make me feel better.”

“True. But that does not make them lies.”

Jaejoong nodded but refused to meet his friend’s eyes.

“Tell me angel.” Yunho softly prompted. “What is on your soul?”

Jaejoong looked up with sad eyes. “Mommy and daddy are fighting again.”

“I heard.” Yunho said understandingly, rubbing the boy’s back.

Jaejoong hiccupped and wiped his eyes harshly. “Did you hear daddy call my art stupid.” He sniffled. “I know he’s mad and doesn’t mean it but why do he always have to be so mean to me?”

“Oh my darling.” Yunho sighed holding the boy as his tears flowed. He growing tired of seeing mate in such distress. While in truth, the boy’s hardships paled in comparison to that of others, in caused Yunho no less pain to see the fragile little dove so sad.

But Jaejoong’s constant troubles left Yunho always knowing how to cheer the lad up, if not at least calm his soul for the night.

Jaejoong felt his eyes begin to droop at the soft tune Yunho was humming. He pulled away and fought against the promise of a peaceful slumber.

“No.” He whined childishly. “I don’t wanna go to bed yet.”

“Shhh,” Yunho calmed, helping get under his covers. “The day is over, your heart is full, you must rest.”

“But I don’t wanna.” Jaejoong yawned. “I didn’t even see you all day.”

“You will have me tomorrow.” Yunho reassured. “And the next day, and the nest day, and the next day after that until we are nothing more the molecules across the sky.”

Jaejoong yawned again and snuggled into the pillow Yunho adjusted for him. “Will you walk me to school tomorrow?” He asked giving into sleep and the soft tune.

“It be my honor.” Yunho said.

“And be here until I fall asleep.”

“Always.” He whispered.

 Another yawn. “Goodnight Yunnie.”

Yunho kissed his temple. “Sweetest dreams my little angel.”

_\--_

 

Jaejoong coughed and choked on tears as he flipped through the tear stained pages of his old sketch book. He always remember art being such a joyfully hobby of his.

But then again, he also never remembered a demon being his source of comfort in times of sorrow. And look how wrong he was.

~

 

 

 

Heechul sighed deeply as he walked down the corridor.

 _Poor kid_ , he thought. He at least had a chance to live and enjoy life before he died, but Jaejoong, he would never know anything else.

Then again, maybe it was better this way. You can’t miss what you never had right? Still, he felt for the boy. To be so young and thrown into this. Yunho wasn’t evil, despite his title and profession, but Heechul was having a hard time seeing anything redeeming here.

Would it have really been so hard to just wait a decade more? It wasn’t like Jaejoong was going anywhere and Yunho could have just visited him whenever he wanted.

Yes, waiting would have been better. Then maybe Jaejoong would have been willing and ready.

Who was he kidding. He had ten years on the boy and even he wouldn’t have signed up for this had he had the option to choose.

He continued on his way, moving on muscles memory alone, passing everyone and no one. He walked by an open doorway without a glance. He backtracked when he realized who was inside.

“Is this where you have been sleeping?” He asked with a laugh in his voice.

Yunho lazily turned his head to the man from where he laid on the couch in the library. “I am a god.” He said flatly. “I do not sleep on a couch.” He raised his glass to his lips and took a drink.

“A fancy guestroom then?” Heechul teased.

“Shut up.” The demon groaned, turning away.

“You two really are a pair.” He laughed walking away.

“How is he?”

Heechul took a step back and peered into the space. Yunho was still looking away from him. “He’s good.” He said. “Better than expected all things considered. I got him to laugh.”

Heechul didn’t need to see the others face to know he was smiling. He could feel it in the weight of the room. Being mated to Hangeng made him immune to the sins but he could still feel what they were emitting.

“Really now?” Yunho chuckled softly. “I have lost count of the moons and stars that have passed since I last heard such a melody.”

Heechul stuck his hands in his pockets and stepped inside. “Geez Yunho. Keep talking like that it’s a wonder the boy hasn’t fallen to his knees yet.”

“Forgive me for not falling to your common ways.”

Heechul rolled his eyes but didn’t leave. He knew what was coming next.

“Are you not going to tell me what was shared?”

“Could you not have eased dropped yourself?”

“We are unmated Heechul. I can hardly feel him as it is.”

“True but I have been sworn to secrecy. Pinky promised.”

Yunho sat up and looked at the man incredulously. “I am not even going to dignify that with an inquisition.”

Heechul laughed and took a seat in a chair. “Like I said, you two really are a pair.”

Yunho ignored him and swigged his glass. “Well, it is just as well. I doubt hearing my mate speak of his unyielding hatred for me will do my bearings any good.” He finished his drink.

Heechul laughed again. “He doesn’t hate you.”

“Truly.”

“I’m serious. He is scared and confused and frustrated but hate. I don’t think the kid is even capable of it.”

Yunho nodded before rising to his feet. “I wish I could say that helped.”

“Don’t sleep with him tonight.” He added suddenly.

“Did I make it not clear our lack of fucking?”

“I’m speaking literally here. You sleep with at night right? Sneak into the room, maybe watch him for a bit, then crawl into bed next to him. You’re lucky you’re hot, otherwise it be really fucking creepy.”

Yunho stilled his movements. “He is aware.” He asked, his back to Heechul.

“Not a clue. I’m the one with the theory.” He said standing.

“That is very specific reasoning to a very vague theory.”

“Just let him be for the night okay. If I’m right it’ll work in your favor.”

“Do I dare ask?”

Heechul stood as well. “I don’t want to get your hopes up. Like I said it’s just a theory.” He turned to make his leave.

“Heechul.” Yunho called stilling the man. He turned to face him. “Thank you.”

“I’m not doing any of this for you.” Heechul said, arms crossed.

“I know. Thank you.”

Heechul stared at his friend for a hard moment. A question danced on the tip of his tongue but he kept it at bay. He know Yunho well but not well enough. There were still bounders between them; inviable lines he knew not to cross. As to whether or not his friend was being truthful, he would never know.

And if Jaejoong was lucky, he wouldn’t know the difference either.

He gave a small nod with a tight smile and left.

~

 

 

 

_\--24 years ago--_

“We should have disposed of it the second it was conceived.”

“Taeyeon please, dwelling on the past is of no help right now.” Jinki reasoned.

“It’s a nephilim Jinki. Early action is our only defense against them. Please do not be so daft about this. You what happened last time.” She continued.

“And what exactly has happened sister?” Leeteuk asked. “Where is nephilim? We killed it and now it has vanished with only a corps in its wake. We know less about them now than we did centuries ago.”

“Perhaps we were right.” Raised Joohyun. “Perhaps they are without a soul and they will into the void with little on our part. It is possible.”

“Not this time.” All eyes turned to where Junsu stood in the circle.

“Junsu.” Jinki, their leader quickly greeted. “Why do say that?”

The guardian took a deep breath before answering. “The child was in my arms when Yunho was in the room. I felt him call out to the demon, imagine it an infant. It was unlike anything I had ever witnessed. There is a connection between them. I don’t know of what kind but it is there. This is all my fault.”

“Junsu you could not have known.” Leeteuk tried to comfort.

“The signs were all there brother. His mother has been having an affair with a reformed since her second child. I was careless.”

Never in his existence did Junsu think he would be having this conversation again. The first time was an honest mistake, one anyone could have made. It became a sort of experiment that taught them less than they would have liked and was ruled too risky to ever try again.

Now a second nephilim walked the Earth and the blame fell upon no one but himself.

Nephilims, children of the daughters of earth and the reforms, demons who stayed on earth, from Hell. Little was known about them as they were incredibly rare and almost never survived, hence the experiment. What was known was that they weaken their human mother eons more than a human or even a demon seed did. Human fetuses and demon fetuses depended on their mother for survival. Nephilims were an abomination that had no regards for their host and without a host, there was no birth.

Now with modern medicine and a changing world, nephilims were becoming more and more common but the experiment had taught the council to never leave anything to chance. Once spotted, nephilims were to be eradicated before the third trimester. It was the only time angels were allowed to directly step in the lives of humans and it required detailed reports from every guardian on their assigned child’s conception.

Every guardian except Junsu.

He was the oldest of his class and therefore the leader of his kind but unlike the rest of the council he still worked in his field. He had grown too attached to the families he watched and couldn’t bear to hand them over to someone else. They were all too precious to him.

But it was his heart that was his downfall.

How could he have been so blind? He had long since known of the affair Jaejoong’s mother had been having but up until now all of the Kim children had been 100% human. There was never a reason to worry or pay mind. Then Jaejoong was conceived and Junsu’s luck ran out.

She had prayed every night during her pregnancy but such was normal for a woman so dedicated to her faith. Had he been an angel of life he might have seen that Jaejoong was literally killing his mother from the inside. In fact it was common place for angels of life to work alongside guardians until the child was born. But Junsu wasn’t just any guardian. No one checked in on him. And because of his blessings and his care, a small but healthy nephilim walked the earth.

This was not his finest hour.

“Every night that woman prayed I would protect her child and every night I answered. She didn’t even care about herself and I couldn’t help but forgive her for all she had done. I was a fool. I nurtured Jaejoong with my own hands. Apologies are not enough to atone for what I have done.”

“Jaejoong?” Joonmyun questioned.

“That’s the child’s name.” Junsu answered.

“That’s not what he means.” Taeyeon explained taking his hand. She could be soft when she wanted to. “You are a guardian Junsu, the best and most loving there is. That is why you hold the position you do. But the child is a nephilim. Perhaps it is best we stop using its name since we all know what comes next.”

Junsu gave the other an odd looking before looking among the group. “Wait. You can’t all seriously be considering…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

“You said so yourself Junsu. He is somehow connected to Yunho.” Jinki said. “We can’t take any chances as to what that may mean.”

“But he is a new born. Nothing has happened.”

“Yet.” Joohyun asked.

Junsu shot the youngest of their council a glare. “Why they are drawn to each other has yet to be explained. For all we know it could have been a onetime thing.”

“You know that’s a fallacy.” Victoria said. “Yunho isn’t just any demon. He is a sin, their ruler. Him getting a nephilim is potentially dangerous. There’s no telling what may happen.”

Junsu looked around the room. No one could meet his eyes. Not even Taeyeon who still held his hand or Leeteuk who was once on his side. The reality of their meeting was coming to light. They did not want confirmation the Jaejoong was a nephilim. They wanted permission to kill him.

The guardian couldn’t help but laugh. “So that’s it. We’re just going to kill him? I thought ending a child’s life without due cause once they make it past term was against our code.”

“Not it the case of nephilims.” Joohyun spoke up. “They are the exception.”

“Okay, well how about this then.” Junsu said ripping his hand for Taeyeon’s. “If we kill him, he’ll go straight to Hell. We have no claim to Nephilims. They do.”

Silence.

“He’s right.” Jinki said first.

“And soul or not, if Yunho is aware of its existence.” Victoria said.

“It’ll be like basting him up and serving him on a silver platter.” Leeteuk added.

“Heaven help us.” Taeyeon gasped.

“What’s wrong with that?”

They all looked at Joonmyun.

“Speak with some sense brother.” Joohyun said.

“Hear me out.” The angel of youth began. “The Kim’s are a Christian family right? Isn’t it possible that they will rear it to be like them? The nephilim could grow up to be good and God fearing.”

“And what will that do exactly?” Taeyeon asked.

“Earn him a spot up here?” Joonmyun said with little confidence.

“That’s…”

“Completely possible.” Junsu said with a smile.

“It is?!” Several said at once. They all looked at Jinki just to be sure.

The angel of death raised a brow at the guardian, knowing his friend and brother had other intentions other than to prevent a catastrophe, but said nothing. They needed a solution and now was not the time to be picky. “It is. There are ways in which we can save claimed souls. Like when a reformed turns their life over to the Lord, or…” He sighed not wanting to open up old wounds. “When a demon selflessly giving their life for another.”

Junsu looked away at that.

“But how?” Victoria asked.

There are a several loop holes in the system.” Junsu explained. “Ones we never over turned or looked into because said situations never occurred.”

“That last one has.” Taeyeon huffed.

“Forgiveness sister.” Leeteuk remained. “Which ironically happened to be the loop hole I assume you are referring to?”

“Not exactly.” Said Junsu. “The forgiveness rule is a rule, not a loop hole. What I’m talking about is a pardon.”

“A pardon? And how would that work?” Victoria questioned.

“A pardon happens when the cause of death to a soul is beyond human control, garnering them entrance.”

“Um, what?” Joohyun asked.

“It’s a fancy way of saying ‘we fucked up and killed you, now you can stay’.” Taeyeon explained, ignoring the language reprimand from Jinki. “Which is impossible to do because-”

“Angels cannot directly interfere with the lives of humans, I know. Hence why the last died the way he did but we forgot a key component. Nephilims aren’t fully human. The rule doesn’t apply to them. And since the rule doesn’t apply-”

“We could potentially kill him and send a death angel to retrieve his soul.” Leeteuk finished.

“Exactly.”

“That is one complicated loop hole Junsu.” Victoria stated.

“What other choice do we have?” Junsu asked.

Silence.

“Isn’t it...” Joohyun began. She stopped when all eyes were on her. “Isn’t it possible that since Yunho knows of its existence, he’ll just take it before we get the chance to?”

“It’s unlikely.” Leeteuk provided. “The only realm in which a soul ages is Earth. Yunho will have no use for a child.”

“Don’t be so sure.” Taeyeon warned.

“I will ensure the boy remains on Earth. At least until his 18th birthday, in which then we will move in.” Junsu said.

“This is ridiculous. What good is this creature to us anyways?” Taeyeon expressed growing tired and annoyed.

“It could be a learning experience I suppose.” Victoria supposed. “We don’t know what the nephilim means to Yunho nor he to it. Observing it, watching it grow, it could give us more insight.”

“At least that was the plan last time.” Leeteuk reminded.

“A plan which failed.” Taeyeon said.

“We won’t fail this time. I’m sure of it.” Junsu spoke up.

“How can you be so sure? Yunho hates you. He’ll probably take the infant now just to spite you. I can see him Junsu. He’s watching the child now.”

Junsu nodded. That was entirely possible. A multitude of out comes with unknown variables were possible. Yunho was powerful but Junsu had hope and faith on his side. “I have gotten to know Yunho quite well over the centuries. I know what to say to make him listen. He needs the child. That’s our key”

\--

 

 

\--Heaven--

Junsu peered over a basin with pained eyes. He danced his fingers on the surface of the pool of water and sighed at the sight of the tearful boy below.

“Oh my child. A thousand apologies will never be enough to atone for what we have done to you.”

This wasn’t part of the plan. Jaejoong was never to know of his past but the other nephilim, the unavoidable curse of Hell. They had no way of knowing. Now, possibly the sweetest creature in all the realms was suffering because of him. Their intentions were never of this but as the years past, it became clear, just having Jaejoong wouldn’t be enough.

“How could I have let this happen?” Junsu whispered to himself. “What have I become?”

“An angel who understands sacrifices must be made.”

Junsu turned to Jinki with tears in his eyes. “How do you do it?” He asked. “You who kills them and Leeteuk who judges them? How?”

“Because someone must.” The death angel replied. “We all have our duties, it’s best you remember that. The end will justify the means, it always has.”

Junsu scoffed and walked away. “Then forgive me for I want no part in observing it.”

“This was your idea.” Jinki called after him but Junsu has already left the dark hall.

Jinki sighed and turned to watch the pool.

“So that’s where the other nephilim end up.” Taeyeon said coming out of the shadows of her domain. “Can’t say I’m surprised. I thought the wings were supposed to suppress his memories.”

“They are,” Jinki assured. “But there appears to be things about the realm that we had no way of accounting for.” He watched and Jaejoong tired himself out and fell asleep on the floor. “No matter. It seems to be working in our favor anyways.”

“This is taking too long Jinki. I would give anything to spare our brothers feelings but you and I know what must be done.”

The angle of death nodded. “I know. But this is Junsu’s plan, not ours. We must wait.”

“For what?” The all seeing girl said annoyed. “For him to toughen up and give the order. You saw him, he’ll never do. We had that thing and you saw what happened. Now he has it and both Joohyun and I fear the worst.”

“That thing is the only thing keeping a war from breaking out. If we destroy it now, you daft the think Yunho will not try and avenge it.”

“So we wait for them to mate? Will Yunho not try and avenge it then?”

Jinki nodded, knowing she had a point. “There is still time. But we must learn what Yunho wants with the boy first. Then, hopefully Junsu will come to his sense.”

“Hopefully,” Taeyeon mocked with an eye roll. “My eyes can only see him and he never leaves the room. This goal is impossible.”

“Then perhaps.” Jinki said, sticking his middle finger in the pool and stirring it. “A push in the right direction is in order.”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary seeing how as-”

“You said he needs to get of out the room yes. I’m ensuring he does.”

They watched on as Jaejoong’s wings glowed and soft blue before regaining this pristine white state.

“There, simple.”

Taeyeon stared at his retreating figure shocked and almost appalled. She wanted this to end more than anyone but to manipulate a soul, it was unheard of. It was not what angels did. Plus Jaejoong was being manipulated enough and it they weren’t careful Yunho would see through them. What Jinki was doing was risky, careless, and downright cruel.

_“Nephilims aren’t fully human.”_

“Your words brother. I just hope you have the strength to see it through.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I have a fucking speech due in literally six hours and look at this shit!? Why do I write when I have real shit to do!? FUCK!  
> Anyways, I’m wasn’t going to turn this into a fic but you all know me. It’s not my best work but show it some love anyways okay. Haha.  
> Comment are loved and kudos make me swoon.  
> I love you all and will see you soon.


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